Imperfect ParentingSample

Study Your Children

Most of us have been educated in our lives. Maybe we received a high school diploma or graduated with a college degree, even a master’s or doctorate. Or perhaps our studies in life have been “on the job” training that helped us in our current career. When we pursue something to gain educational information, it makes us very knowledgeable in a field. 

What if we took that same drive to learn and implemented it into our parenting? What if we  chose to study our children so that we could “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”? (Ephesians 6:4 NIV) We’d learn what fuels them, what breaks their heart, how they’re motivated, and what makes them feel loved. It’s a worthwhile effort, regardless of how old our children are. Here are some suggestions to help you do just that.

Discover Their Personality Type
There are so many ways to learn how people are wired. From books and assessments that measure a personality to those that indicate strengths. Is your child an extravert? Do they enjoy plans? Do they get their feelings hurt easily? These kinds of things aren’t meant to label our children, but to help us figure out how they respond to life and relationships. Let’s not allow any tool to define our children, but to help us get to know them better. 

Discover Their Spiritual Gifts
Every single Christ follower has at least one spiritual gift. These are given to us by the Holy Spirit as He decides. Yes, that even means your infant or your five-year old. Maybe you’ve started to see traits in your child that make you recognize certain gifts. These gifts are determined by God, but we can play a part in seeing the development of them in our children so that they can “use whatever gift we have received to serve others” (1 Peter 4:10 NIV). 

Discover Their Love Language
Author Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages. In it, Chapman shares that our relationships will grow stronger when we learn how to give and receive love. He followed this up with The Five Love Languages of Children, which helps parents learn to speak their child’s love language. Both books offer such great wisdom and insight, and will help us uncover the best way to love our children in a way that they’ll hear and experience our love. 

Becoming a student of your child will not perfect your parenting, but you’ll be farther along in your relationship and understanding of them if you hadn’t. So, choose today to invest in your personal knowledge of your children by spending time with them, studying them, and before you know it, you’ll be Dr. Mom and Dr. Dad.