Imperfect ParentingSample

Relationship First 

The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 3:23 that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That means every single one of us, including our children, will make mistakes. Sometimes these mistakes will have severe consequences, and sometimes they won’t. While it’s our role as parents to provide instructions and guide our kids when they’ve failed, we must keep our relationship with them in the forefront of our thoughts. Consider these things as you learn how to place the relationship first: 

Don’t Forget
It’s rather difficult to move past the mistakes and sinful choices of our kids. We can get so discouraged about their sinful actions that we completely forget: we were once kids, too. Remember those moments of waiting for mom or dad to get home? Let’s do our best to be empathetic when it comes to our children. Let’s forgive them just like Christ has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32 NIV). Most of the time, they’re not trying to mess up. They’re just dealing with a condition that we all deal with—humanity. 

Let the Vision Guide
Most families set rules in place to keep kids safe and help them with life choices. Some rules are meant to stay because they are valuable. Others might have a place for a season. But sometimes, hard and fast rules create rebellion. It’s in these times that we have to remember the point of the rule and ask ourselves, “Is this even necessary anymore?” It’s hard for parents to “ease up” on their decisions because either their pride has gotten in the way or they’re fearful that the children will see them as too accommodating. But, we must push past those things and do what’s in the best interest of the future relationship with our children. 

It’s Not About You 
As hard as this aspect of parenting is, it’s vital that we grasp it. When our children fail, it’s not about us. It’s a challenge for parents to not take their children’s actions personally. We feel in some way that our kids are trying to mess up our lives. They aren’t. As mentioned above, they’re just trying to deal with their humanity problem. They don’t need guilt trips from us. They just need parents who understand that they are trying to figure out how to live it in a world that neither caters to them or even cares about them. 

We have to remember what it was like to be a child. Just like we can “approach God’s throne of grace with confidence” in order to receive mercy and grace when we need it, let’s be the kind of parent who encourages our children to do the same (Hebrews 4:16 NIV). Our kids are trying to grow up and part of that is making mistakes. When our kids are down, let’s remember that the relationship with them is always the most critical consideration.