The Enneagram for Teensنموونە

Type Three: The Heroic Leader

The Enneagram Three is known as the Achiever or the Performer. They are charming, ambitious, personable, and energetic. They are highly driven to achieve their goals, and in doing so impress those around them. This Enneagram type is often referred to as a chameleon because they can adjust their personality based on the person they’re talking to, often mirroring that person’s personality.

Enneagram Threes typically carry themselves with confidence and self-assurance and are seen as driven and successful, making them a role model for others. But deep down, Threes can be overly concerned with their image and their need to convince others they are doing well, leading them to project the appearance they have everything figured out. Inside, they also often wonder, “Who am I, really?” because of how frequently they “perform” for others.

Their core fear is failing or being worthless. They fear being exposed for not being as valuable as they want to be, and this can cause them to put on an act or hide who they truly are from those around them. They often find “micro victories” throughout the day to prove to themselves (and those around them) they are not a failure. When they are hanging out with friends, colleagues, or classmates, they often try to prove their worth to others by adding something to a discussion topic, making sure those people feel that they are a valuable member of the group.

The Enneagram Three’s wounding childhood message is “You should be who others want you to be instead of who you truly are” or “You’re loved because of your performance.” Whether indirectly or directly, they were made to believe that they were only worthy of love if they excel in every area of life, which created a drive for success because they feared they wouldn’t be loved for who they really are.

Their core desire is to feel valuable or worthy. The tricky thing with Threes is that they desire to be truly successful and achieve personal and professional goals, but as long as they appear to be successful, it’s usually enough to satisfy them. Though they will always fear being found out if it’s not authentic success.

As a Three develops their faith, they may get caught up in the appearance of being put together and perfect. This blinds them from seeing the reality of God’s kindness and acceptance for who they truly are. When they find their worth in the Lord instead of in the world, they’re able to find a love for their true selves they never knew existed and an assurance that freedom from feeling less-than can be found in the Lord, who is dependable and there for them no matter what. Their striving to succeed in the world can cease when God is the focus, because only he provides the ultimate satisfaction of self-love and acceptance.

If you’re a Three, ask God how he would describe you. I guarantee they are words of affirmation, love, and beauty that you will be able to walk in moving forward. This reminds me of the story in John 4, when Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at the well, explaining to her he can give her Living Water that will satisfy all of her needs so she will never be thirsty again. When a type Three applies the lesson in this story to their own life, they’re able to show up to their faith and other areas of life as their imperfect selves, open to receiving what the Lord has for them, no matter what it looks like.

Are you a type Three? Before we move on to the next type, there’s one thing I want you to know. Your accomplishments will not earn your way to heaven; that will only happen through Christ. Allow that weight to be lifted as you learn you are so valued and loved that Jesus died for you, and allow yourself to rest your identity in him as his child. Walk in confidence, dear Three, that you are more than enough, just as you are.