The Enneagram for Teensنموونە

Type Two: The Helper

Type Twos are known as the Helper, the Caregiver, or the Supportive Advisor. They are the friend who will drop everything to help you move even though their schedule is packed, the one who has broad shoulders to cry on, the one who is ready to fill whatever role you need of them. Twos have a unique ability to be in a conversation with someone and just know what they need to hear in that moment. They tend to be very nurturing and supportive, and they often put the needs of others before their own.

On the outside, they appear selfless, but there may be an ulterior motive under the surface. Twos like to feel needed and helpful, so their apparent selflessness can in fact be for their own benefit (whether they’re totally conscious of it or not). When less healthy, they begin to think they are indispensable, a quality that defines their self-worth. Because of this, they can feel slighted when their help isn’t acknowledged, and they may also struggle with codependency.

Their core fear is being unwanted or unworthy of being loved. To make sure they are loved and valued, they may try to force themselves into people’s lives and become indispensable, instead of doing the work to believe they are loved just because they exist.

The wounding childhood message that correlates with their fear is, “You can’t have your own needs/desires” or “It’s important to always please others.” Whether real or perceived, the little Two starts to believe their needs don’t matter, so they eventually stop voicing them. This carries into adulthood, and not only does the adult Two feel like their needs don’t matter, they think they are a burden to anyone else.

Their core desire is the opposite—to be wanted or loved. Typically, everything they do is from this motivation. Are they bringing a birthday gift? Helping you study for a test? Whatever it is, know this is their heart posture. They are seeking that validation, typically going above and beyond to get it.

Before we go farther, if you’re a Two (or anyone who likes showing their love through actions), there’s something I want you to remember: If you find yourself helping for the “wrong” reasons at times or feeling frustrated that people don’t appreciate what you do, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person—you just have a coping mechanism that isn’t always healthy for you. You’re still loved even when you don’t run yourself ragged to prove it!

When it comes to faith, type Twos can find it challenging to truly trust that they are not only wanted by God, but actively pursued by him. While they search for that feeling in earthly relationships, it’s something that’s impossible to find and fulfill outside of the Father.

It’s difficult for a Two to rest in their faith because they can’t do anything to earn God’s love. While flattery and favors win humans over, that doesn’t work with God. He loves us just because we are his. Jesus died for us because of how much he wants and loves us, so let that sink in if you’re struggling to really believe it. Imagine your name in Jesus’s mind as he made the ultimate sacrifice. We are all forgiven because of the greatest act of love in history.

Are you a type Two? Before we move on to the next type, there’s one thing I want you to know. You are wanted and loved by God. Jesus died for YOU and loves YOU unconditionally. Remember to draw closer to him when you’re feeling depleted. Walk in confidence, dear Two, knowing you are wanted and loved just as you are.