Day One: Jesus is Not Shocked or Offended By Our Doubt

"I do not believe there ever existed a Christian yet, who did not now and then doubt his interest in Jesus. I think when a man says, "I never doubt," it is quite time for us to doubt him." - Charles Spurgeon

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. - Rainer Maria Rilke

Listen to "Doubter's Prayer" by the Jason Lee McKinney Band to supplement today's reading.

Friends, we all doubt now and then. Most of us doubt our faith more than occasionally, and some of us (like me) walk with the permanent limp of doubt. It is a part of our daily lives, and that is okay. I love Matthew 11:2-10 for a couple of reasons: 1) who it is that is doing the doubting and 2) how Jesus reacts to the doubt. John the Baptist was raised in church, he was a preacher's kid, a prophet, and as a prophet, he was a vocational Christian. John was the very one who first recognized and announced Jesus as Messiah. In fact, it was John who baptized Jesus. If anyone wasn't supposed to doubt, if anyone shouldn't doubt, it was John, and yet when John was in prison, facing his own death, he did in fact doubt. What John did with his doubt was key. He didn't deny or hide his doubt (v.2), but rather he leaned into his faith. He asked the big questions, and he trusted Jesus to respond (v.2). In essence, John was saying the same thing as the father desperate to see his boy healing in Mark 9:24, "I believe. Help my unbelief."

Jesus did respond but not as you might expect. Jesus did not respond by telling John he should know better, or that of all people he expected better of him, or that "you just got to have faith brother." No. Jesus didn't condemn John for doubting like doubt is the opposite of faith. No, Jesus reassured John (v.4-6) treating doubt as a natural part of faith. Jesus didn't ask John to "just believe" but rather Jesus gave evidence of his supernatural divinity (healing, miracles) that could be and were perceived through the senses (the very senses Jesus healed - they saw the blind regain sight and heard the deaf able to hear again). Then Jesus went a step further. Jesus did not chastise John for doubting but rather he defended and honored John to the crowds (v.7-10).

Friends, it should be a comfort that we all doubt from time to time, and Jesus is not shocked, put off, or offended by that doubt. As Jude 1:22 challenges us to do, Jesus is merciful to doubters. Jesus defends and honors us for having the faith to come to him with our doubts.

Father in heaven, thank you for not being put off or offended by my doubt. Thank you for your patience and kindness toward me. Jesus help me to let go of my need for certainty and embrace true faith. Lord, you did not condemn John for doubting; help me to believe you don't condemn me now for having doubt. In Jesus' name. Amen.

This devotion is an excerpt from Dr. Jason Lee McKinney's devotional book, Devotions for Deconstructors, Disciples, and Doubters,and based on his book, Deconstructing a Disciple's Doubt.

The accompanying music comes from Jason Lee McKinney Band's album One Last Thing.