MAKING DECISIONS WITH HIM

My Beautiful Daughter,

I completely understand when you have to make tough decisions that hurt you. I sometimes have to allow you to be in control of your life so you understand how different it feels when I’m in control. I can’t express how much it hurts to see you cry, but I know the trials you experience help you grow into the woman I need you to be. Just know I am moving on your behalf. Because of your obedience, I will reward you with your heart’s desires that align with my will.

Now, that doesn’t mean I won’t allow more distractions to come your way to build you up and strengthen your discernment. Just remember all things work together for the good of those who love me. Stay close to me, and you will begin to feel the difference in many things you enjoyed before, even the people. I am so proud of your strength in making hard decisions. Always remember I know your future and you can always ask me to reveal some of it to you, to bring hope when things get hard.

My plans are to never harm you but to prosper you, and prosper can mean many things. It can mean you can whisk yourself away to spend alone time with me, or it can mean you’re simply able to learn from this experience and impart it to another person who needs to hear how you made it through. Stick close to me. Know that I am your God and my Word never lies.

Love,
Your Father

Hey, Sis.

God wrote me the love letter you just read on October 25, 2018. I had just broken up with a man who’d given me a summer to remember filled with fun and laughter. This letter reminded me of the story of Job and how God tested him. God’s tests aren’t condemning or meant to harm us because of the choices we’ve made for our lives on our own accord. Instead, they’re meant to help us learn the lessons, so we don’t keep falling into the same unhealthy patterns.

The unhealthy pattern I overcame by walking away from that relationship was being with a man who brought me fun and laughter even though it was clear he wasn’t the one for me. Something was missing. This time, it made me say, “Camara, why continue to waste your time or his when you know, and you can tell he already knows, you two are not meant for each other?” My fear was the fear of being completely alone.

In the past, I tended to walk away from relationships right before the holidays. Maybe I did this because I’d be even more hurt if he didn’t invite me to spend time with him or I’d ask myself if I really wanted him around my space. So many women speak about finally choosing themselves, but most of the time, they mean choosing to have a man chase them so they can finally feel validated and wanted. I didn’t want that. I wanted to finally understand why I kept making my singleness my god. I wanted to figure out when I would stop and truly enjoy spending time getting to know who Camara Aunique Janeanne Helps was. Back then I didn’t know it, but I was on a mission to learn my likes and dislikes and to finally stop accepting the bare minimum from men.

Finding safety and reassurance in God’s presence takes work, so remember to be gentle and loving to yourself. Now, I find myself so cautious to not choose the wrong person that the second I feel it’s off, I don’t waste his time or mine. God is so strategic in teaching us lessons, so we know for a fact that he is enough and truly all we need in life. This also prepares your heart for marriage, when your husband arrives and becomes your everything, aka your god. He will fall short in places, but God can come in and fill in the blanks. So, I say to you, my darling sister, make the tough decisions. They may hurt a bit, but you’ll make it through on top. Whether it’s leaving the job to become a full-time freelancer, going back to work because freelance isn’t paying well, or walking away from a dead-end relationship after you’ve tried everything to make it work, do what you know you should.

This week, take the time to pray about any decisions you have to make, easy or hard. Ask the Lord to confirm what he wants you to do during this time. I want you to be honest about it (side-eye). I know that man is handsome or that job pays well, but are you sure God doesn’t have better lined up for you? This book is teaching you to be okay with his timing just as I had to learn.

Love, Camara