Ephesiansنموونە

This passage often comes with some uneasiness at the sight of the word “submit.” Rightfully so, as there have been many times when this passage has been taken out of context and used in ways that are more harmful than helpful. What’s important to note here is that in the verse preceding this, Ephesians 5:21, Paul says that the husband and wife are to “submit to one another.” Also, the length of the instruction is far longer for the husband than for the wife. Essentially, the submission of wives to husbands is only valid as the husband’s submission to God.

For husbands, in Ephesians 5, you are called to lead your wives. In Matthew 20:26 (NLT), Jesus says, “Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant.” So for husbands, the best way to lead your wife is to serve her. To attend to her needs, to love her, to care for her, to prioritize and elevate her life above your own. According to John 15:13, the greatest expression of love is demonstrated through sacrifice. And sacrifice is what 1 John 4:10 (NLT) calls “real love.” So to lead and to love your wife is to sacrifice your agenda for what’s best for her as determined by God. To, as Philippians 2:5 and 7 (NIV) says, “have the same mindset of Christ Jesus…by taking the very nature of a servant.” For as Christ humbled himself to serve and love the church, husbands must humble themselves to gently care for their wives.

For wives, it’s important to note that Paul isn’t permitting a husband’s domineering leadership, but rather, sacrificial leadership. The same type of leadership Christ provided to the church. By extending such leadership to their husbands, wives enable their husband’s growth and development in Christ. Then when husbands can learn to take on the nature of The Good Shepherd, they can steward responsibility of their wives through protecting & providing, leading & loving, and serving & sacrificing. So for wives, it is important to support a husband’s leadership because it allows him to tenderly and genuinely demonstrate his love for you. Just as Christ did with the church. Also, the heart behind submitting here is not to communicate lesser value or to give husbands a pass to do whatever with their leadership. The heart of submitting here is that it is an extension of trust toward husbands to lead as they are submitted to God.

These verses emphasize the importance of treating the husband and wife relationship to the same degree as the Christ and Church relationship. As stated in Ephesians 5:26, the reason Christ sacrificed his life for the church was to sanctify the church. This means that husbands are to sacrifice their lives for their wives for her benefit; to serve and lead in such a way that it positions her to be set apart from the rest of the world and become more like Christ. For wives, that means taking that leap of faith of extending leadership to your husband so that he can carry out this role in your marriage. Therefore, husbands and wives should work together in a loving sacrificial relationship through mutual submission to one another. The results will reflect the beautiful harmony of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church.

Prayer Points

• Wives:
  • Ask God to give you the courage to allow your husband to lead your life, and pray that he will lead and love you as Christ leads and loves the church.
• Husbands:
  • Ask God to provide you with the strength and wisdom to lead well, and the gentleness and humility to serve and sacrifice for your wife.