Teatime Discipleship: Celebrating Christ Through Communityنموونە

Relationships are an investment, and they require intentional giving and planning. Just as building a house requires plans and effort, so friendship grows out of intention and cultivation…and a firm foundation on the Rock that is Christ.

However, deep, dark loneliness was a companion of my heart for many years. I ached inside for a friend or someone who cared for me—someone who would even notice me. I knew and felt that I desperately needed a friend—someone to share my joys, burdens, celebrations, and struggles.

Two Are Better Than One

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 teaches, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to one who falls when there is not another to life him up!”

That was me, with no one to lift me up. On the contrary, Jesus came to model what it takes to begin relationships in Matthew 20:28, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” When I follow the pattern of Jesus—initiating time with others, meeting with them, teaching them, and serving them–then I follow His pattern of giving Himself.

Like a Hidden Treasure

God put it on my heart to seek friends as a hidden treasure. I should discover and cherish them—not sit around and wait for them to knock. So I kept my eyes out for women who were committed to and excited about their spiritual lives—perhaps a coworker, a mom who delighted in her children, or a community leader, a neighbor, someone more seasoned than me.

I would almost always have to be the one who would make it happen. And that’s okay to be the one to initiate! I would simply ask them if they wanted to meet for tea or coffee. I would host lunches, meet women for coffee, gather friends for long walks, and start small groups in my home, always searching for “excellent” women who would draw me to their best spiritual ideals. My house didn’t have to be fancy or impressive, just open to potential friends. In reaching out to others and building a community, I found my best friends, sewing the threads of our lives together by serving in mutual ministries.

In giving my life to others, often, God gave me the friends I so desperately needed. And now I have sisters in Christ all over the world who work, serve, and fellowship alongside me. We all support one another because we are devoted to one another’s well-being.

Jesus is the Lover who reached out, initiated, and poured out His love for our benefit. And so in friendship, let’s see ourselves as givers of love, builders of friendship, and initiators of life.