Who Am I?

By Veronica Cline

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”—Psalm 139:13–14 (NIV)

Why am I interested in dating someone right now?

Have I focused on getting to know myself more than getting to know others?

Some people may date in order to be validated in their identity, to gain an identity, or to feel intimately loved and desired. The good news is if we accept our identity as God’s children whom He loves and desires then we can acknowledge He has created us uniquely and with a purpose.

Knowing who we are helps inform us as to the type of person that compliments the way God has designed and wired us.

Whether you’re hoping to start dating or if you’re already dating, take some time to really figure out how God designed you. From there, you can identify the type of person He has uniquely made for you.

Here are some practical ways to start finding out who you are:

• Read God’s Word and pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal Himself and who He created you to be (Genesis 1:27).
• Reflect on your core values, past experiences, and spiritual gifts and talents (Ephesians 4:7).
• Think about what your goals and passions may be in the future. What do you love doing and what do you dislike doing?
• Talk to a trusted friend, family member, peer, and/or mentor about what they see in you.
• Take some quality personality tests. Tests do not define you and are not always 100% accurate. However, they can be helpful tools in better understanding the way God made you.
• Learn your love languages. How do you best respond to giving and receiving love?

Knowing who we are helps us to see the areas of our lives in which we need growth and need to surrender in order to be the healthiest version of ourselves for a future spouse or potential relationship.

It can be difficult to focus on your own personality, motives, giftings, etc. because you may feel prideful or may not like what you see. No matter what has been revealed to you about yourself, God loves you no matter what. Jesus loves us and died for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8), so regardless if you’re in a healthy place or need to surrender in some areas, He loves and has already forgiven you.

This is the order in which we should love (Mark 12:30–31):

1. Love God
2. Love Others

If you love and get to know God first above anyone or anything else, if you prioritize intimacy with Him, getting to know Him and walking in close relationship with Him, you’ll know who you are, who He created you to be, and you’ll be able to see yourself through the beautiful identity He has given you. You’ll be able to find fulfillment and satisfaction in Him, in who He is, and in who you are. This is so important and necessary before you try to love and get to know the next person you date.