3 Truths to Fuel a Fully Connected Marriage 

Many people see God through lenses that distort His true nature and character. According to 1 Corinthians 13, true love keeps no record of wrong. God is not the God of wrath and judgment but rather the God of love. It is His love that draws us to true repentance (thinking His way). There are three elements that come into play: how you see God, what you believe about how He sees you? Your willingness to see others the way He sees them is a key that can unlock the door for you to live and love fully connected to God and each other.

Truth #1: God is good. 

If we can grab ahold of this fundamental truth and keep it at the forefront of our minds our relationship with God will be solid and our relationship with our spouse will be on the right track. 

Many times, the world around us or the world in general, will shape our view of God and each other. It's two-fold. I will venture to say if you do not believe God is good you will not see your spouse as good and if you cannot honestly say your spouse is good you might have a misguided view of God.

Now before you throw out the baby with the bathwater let me establish a few things. 

God is good. Meditate on God’s Word in Psalm 34:8, Psalm 107:1 and Psalm 119:68.

God created the world and everything in it, including us, and said that it is good. (Genesis 1:31)

Marriage was designed by God and marriage is good. (Genesis 2:18)

Truth # 2: In Christ, your spouse is good. 

No matter what they may have said or done they are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works that God prepared in advance for them to do…just like you. (Ephesians 2:10) The same scriptures that apply to your life and speak to your true identity in Christ define the identity and life of your spouse as well. At times we can allow the pride of “greater than” to rise up and call something bad that God declares good. 

Our spouse needs us to believe that they are good (uniquely designed, favored, and loved). In a world where situations, circumstances, people and the enemy are trying to tell them who they are (or aren’t) your greatest privilege is to tell them who they are. And if they aren’t acting like who they were created to be, call them up. Tell them they are a great man of God or an incredible wife and pretty soon they’ll believe it. As they begin to believe it their actions will start to line up with their belief. Right believing causes our behavior to change!

As a young wife and mom, I didn’t have a lot of training in the kitchen. Actually, I had no training in the kitchen. The only thing I had made myself before leaving home was probably a sandwich and a frozen pizza. My husband was cheated in the home chef department. Even when I tried to cook things, they weren't good. I knew it and he knew it. We would laugh it off but every "babe, you're not a very good cook" began to shape my belief. My belief then shaped my actions. I believed I couldn't cook so I didn't cook. We ate a lot of fast food, went out to eat way more than we should have as a young couple on a budget and ate tacos or spaghetti the rest of the nights (because how can you mess up browned meat, a tortilla or noodles and salsa or pasta sauce?) This went on for years until the moment I chose to believe there was more, my spouse believed in me, and I put in the practice until one day, I was a good cook. 

This applies to our marriage because no matter what you identify with, there are areas you are weak and areas you are strong. Neither your strength nor weaknesses get to be the sole definer of who we are as a person, as a spouse or as a parent. In Christ, God says we are good and it’s our job to believe it. God says our spouse is good and it’s our job to help them believe it. 

Truth #3: Your marriage is good.

A vital part of this equation is a solid belief that God designed marriage and destined for us to have a good marriage. The day in and day out life may look and feel messy, but the truth remains; we said, “I Do” to the man or woman you are married to "until death do you part". In the same way, what we believe about our spouse shapes how we act; what we believe about our marriage shapes how we act.  

Marriage was designed from the beginning of time to create a helper suitable for Adam so they could cultivate and work the garden together. God declared that it wasn't good for man to be alone and his solution to the problem was Eve. She was not the problem; she was God’s creative solution and provision for man. While they both got themselves into trouble and made us all miss out on the perfection in the Garden, they also got to experience the joy of life and the pain of loss together. Because of their decisions, Jesus became the ultimate solution to all of our problems. 

If you can choose to say, “your marriage is good”, “you’re in it to win it” and “you’re better together” then you will have a fighting chance against any and everything that comes against you. 

"Your marriage has a 100% chance of success if you do it God's way." (Jimmy Evans)

If you’ve read any of Jimmy Evans books or heard him speak, I guarantee you’ve heard this statement and I believe it 100% as well. I believe it for my own marriage, and I believe it for yours. Every marriage has the opportunity for greatness and to greatly reflect the goodness of God. Our level of surrender and trust determines His ability to work and move in us and through us. 

Think It Over:

Do you believe God is good, you are good, and your marriage is good? If not, what makes you believe that?

Make a Move:

In your own words, tell God He is good, why He is good and thank Him. Give yourself a little pep talk and remind yourself that God says you are good, He created you and He will finish the good work He started in you. Declare that your marriage is good when God is at the center and you are both working to live and love fully connected