Conversations With God: After Miscarriage & Pregnancy LossMostra

Day IV: Gather With Others

Loss can be a heavy burden to carry alone, and I always felt that all burdens felt lighter when I gathered with others going through the same issues. It also helped tremendously to seek counsel. I was hesitant to go to a group after losing Solomon, and I am not the one to mope, and I was concerned that I might go to a group where others were going over how they repeatedly felt each week, and I didn't want to join that cycle. However, I found a group that was about expression and guidance.

This happened for me in the group to help me in the process.

1. I heard others' stories, and this helped me see others were sharing my pain and made me view my loss differently when hearing others' stories. For instance, some of the stories made me grateful for how I lost Solomon. I know that may sound weird, but some of the stories were so heart wrenching, and it made me realize; it could've been much worse. It caused me to re-think how I felt about my loss.

2. God used me to help them. Sometimes we go to small groups and support, looking for what we will gain. You may help someone else. When it came to my turn to share, I brought up how my gold pot at the end of the rainbow wasn't a baby; but being healed. I didn't want to idolize having a baby as a way to restore and heal me completely. Would it help? Of course. But; I didn't want to act as if unless I had a baby, I couldn't heal. I also brought up that I was questioning God. After I said this, everyone else in the room also started to talk about their struggle with their faith. No one had mentioned God before.

Can you find a group to walk along this journey with you?

Have you considered going to counseling?

Search for some pregnancy loss groups in your area as well as counselors that work specifically with grieving mothers.