Always We Begin Again By Leeana TankersleyMostra

Day Seven

Breathe

Scripture: John 12:24–25

We are a restless breed, we human beings. We spend a lot of energy hurling ourselves back into an unchangeable past or forward into an unknowable future. Our Hard and our Hurts propel us and paralyze us, and it’s a real trick to recommit to each moment. 

We want rest. In fact, I think most of us are borderline desperate for rest: a break from all the restlessness that enervates our bodies and our minds. We want the capacity to stay right where we are instead of reeling from regret or forecasting. We want peace from the inside out, building a life on something settled and centered inside us, but all this is hard to come by, isn’t it? 

Which is why I believe the practice of beginning again is one of the single most significant gifts you can give yourself. Beginning again helps us live moment to moment, all the while nudging us, gently, on our journey of transformation. Without it, we get stuck. Beginning again invites us out of all the various corners we’d prefer to stay in: safety, swirling, shame, striving, scarcity, shoulds . . . to name a few. 

I’m just now learning to bring my hurt to God and, in its place, receive rest. God’s story is a narrative of emancipation. What we thought was an ending may very well be a beginning. When the hissing in our ear tells us it’s over, God whispers an opportunity. Here’s a place we could start from, he says. Here’s a rock bottom. Let’s see this for what it is: a possibility. 

Because on the other side of death, the other side of surrender, is this: movement, or at least the space for movement, in the places where things have been locked down, shut down, deeply tight.

As we unseal our hearts, we step into a place that is not yet. We get the gift of being able to seek resurrection instead of annihilation, even though things might feel so very bleak. 

Whether you are restless because of past events, future fears, or a Messy Middle; whether your life feels impossibly small or overwhelmingly enormous, here is something you can always do:

Breathe and begin again.

Reflection: What are you keeping alive that God is inviting you to bury so that new life might come?

Prayer: God, today I am restless because ______________. Help me begin again. Amen.