Ready Or Knot? By Scott KedershaMostra

Day Six: None of Their Business or Better Together? Pursuing Community as a Couple 

Scripture: Proverbs 12:15, 27:17, Hebrews 10:24-25

Can you imagine having a group of friends who love and “spur you on toward love and good deeds”? (Hebrews 10:24). Friends whom God could use to change every part of your world? Good, faithful friends are hard to find. It’s important to walk through your premarried and married seasons of life with a loving, caring group of friends. 

Anytime we think we can handle life on our own, it’s a problem. A quick look at some of the Proverbs shows us the dangers of isolation and the benefits of community. The Bible teaches that a wise person sees the benefits of accepting input from others instead of thinking they can do things on their own. Individuals and couples who do well in life and marriage open themselves up to counsel from friends. 

So why are we hesitant to invite others into our lives and to seek wise counsel? Sometimes we don’t want to give others access to our lives, because we don’t want the accountability. Some of you reading this are crossing sexual boundaries, and even though you know it’s not God’s best, you’re still choosing to pursue each other without purity. You know if you ask for help or invite someone else into your relationship, you’re going to have to either confess your sin or lie to cover it up. You don’t want to do either of these things. Believe me, I’ve done both too many times to count, and it never once worked out well. 

Other times, we either think we know better or we know we’ve messed up, and we’re scared of being found out. We are meant to live vulnerably with those we trust. Still others of you will want to compromise in your marriage choice. You think life will be better with a spouse than being alone, even though you know the relationship is not God’s best. You may fear that if others are asked about your choices, you might have to give up the relationship. 

Solomon tells us, “For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers,” (Proverbs 11:14). If the person you want to marry doesn’t seek or desire any input from others, I’d run from the altar. This is a red flag. Community and its deep friendships are one of life’s greatest provisions. 

Does your significant other have close, godly friends who hold them accountable with their lifestyle and choices? Do you?