"T"-Transform the Truth

Now we understand what the word says about the truth in John 8:32. The truth "makes you free." For the person who committed the infidelity, you are now free from the guilt of hiding what you have done for however long it was and having to keep up with the lies and the secret movements. Those things no longer have power over you, so that means that the enemy can no longer use those things to keep you in bondage. You do have to deal with the momentum of your decision, which means you have to be patient with your spouse. There is no expiration date on hurt from infidelity, so saddle up and go for the ride. It's the one your decision created.

For the spouse who experienced the infidelity, you are also free now from that feeling on the inside of you that was telling you something was off. Ask yourself, "Am I crazy or just making things up in your mind?" even though your discernment has been speaking to you. This will be a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself. There's a difference between forgiveness and healing. Forgive because God commands you to. We do this as believers because we want His forgiveness. So forgive. Then heal...at your pace.

You are both free to start from a clean slate. Or are you?

You both have to transform the truth, not in the sense that you will not make it the truth anymore, but in the sense that you now have new information and must decide what to do with it. This can either strengthen or destroy your marriage. What will you decide to do? Will you transform the truth into a weapon that you use against your spouse when you get triggered or want your way? Will you walk in condemnation and let the enemy beat you up because of the past mistake or run away from the momentum you've created? Will you both just pack it in and give up when things get difficult and say forget about it? It's now up to you. Start by having a cleansing session. That is a meeting where both of you get out any and everything; I mean anything that you may not have been honest about from your past. No matter how bad or how long ago. If you do this...Now you have a clean slate! Where your marriage goes from here is up to you!

Here are some additional nuggets that the Holy Spirit has taught us over these past 30 years:

• Marriage is simple...Not easy. Translation...Marriage is for GROWN FOLKS!
• It's your integrity in your adversity that determines the growth or stagnation of your relationship.
• Shorten your memory of each other's wrongs.
• God can fix anything, even my broken marriage...If I let Him.
• We are dynamic Christian couples walking in the unfair advantage. Compared to the world, we can always activate the power of the Holy Spirit in our relationship when we get in agreement.

We believe this method gives you more than just a fighting chance to succeed in your marriage; it gives you a God chance, and anything is possible with God! Although we didn't have this name for it back then, the CAST Method is what God used to help us get through those early years. Along with our training in the Word of God and Gottman, our experiences have helped us put a CAST on many marriages.

No ingredient outside of faith in God is more important than rebuilding trust. Download our Trust graphic to begin the journey here:

BUILD TRUST

Once the marriage is healed, you are now equipped to be salt and light on the earth for another couple. Now, they are not alone, just as you are not alone. Now go and be DYNAMIC!

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For more information about our services for married couples, including intensives, counseling, and upcoming events, or to book Pastor Tai and Dr. Sh'nai for your next conference at your church or organization, click here to set up a Discovery Session or email GITNmovement@gmail.com.

You can also visit us on our website at http://PlayFueledMarriages.com or GetInTouchNetwork.com. Like us on Facebook @GetInTouchNetwork