I Wish It Were You: Gender Disappointment in Pregnancyনমুনা

Day 4: God Has a Purpose

We got the call about the results; I had been waiting. Shaking, I answered, found my husband, and put the phone on speaker. XX. Female. A baby girl. And with that, I went into our room to cry. I had a lot of insecurities surrounding the fact that because I married a single father and he already had a son, I, too, needed to give us a son. I really thought in my vulnerability and lamentations that the Lord would give me a son first to break my womb. I had diligently prayed; I had poetically asked. I had the name picked out and could see this little boy with striking blue eyes and curly blonde hair. But He gave me a daughter and asked me to trust that He knew better than me what our family needed.

The Lord knows each child from before the foundation of time itself before the earth began. His eyes see their unformed body. Each is intentionally, purposefully, wonderfully, and fearfully made. We know this full well as their mother. And so, as I wept, I was disgusted with myself because there are so many women who would simply love to be pregnant. Is it possible, I thought, that I have given my life to the Lord but not my womb? God says He takes great care in fashioning each child; He knits together each fiber of their being; He decides their details intricately, tenderly, and with joy. And so, before I ever heard a baby girl was on the way, the Lord knew my daughter and had a plan for her life. We can trust our Heavenly Father with our wombs and the children coming from them.

Application: Pray for peace and solace as you trust God as the ultimate family planner.