Challenges of a Millennial Marriageনমুনা

Where Did All the Role Models Go?

Devotional Content:

As we entered into the millennial era in 1980, 61 percent of children were born into a home where their parents were together in their first marriage. Twenty-five-plus years later, that number is now less that 46 percent.* Many of you as married millennials did not grow up in a home with both of your biological parents present. Some grew up in single parent homes. Some grew up with stepparents in their lives. It is not uncommon at a millennial wedding to have four or more sets of parents present. Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that there were not good role models for you. I’m saying that it was just different than what the boomers and the silent generation experienced. God’s original design was for marriage to last and for a child growing up in a home to have two parents serving as good role models. Your family of origin is where you learned about how to be a man or a woman, a husband or a wife, and a dad or a mom. That was the ideal; but unfortunately, half of you did not experience a home with both of your parents staying together.

I still believe good role models are there. There are those who have worked hard to live the lives and have the marriages God designed for them. You just may need to put out more effort to find them. Where do you look?

Start with your parents and stepparents. Ask them about what they did well, what they would change, and the things that helped them grow in their marriage(s). Remember, someone does not have to have a perfect marriage to be able to help you. In fact, I have learned from many people as they have shared their mistakes and the things they would do differently if they could have a second chance. There is a lot of wisdom to be found in someone who is willing to be transparent and honest.

With your spouse, look for couples at your church who are at least a stage ahead of you in their marriage—couples who are not perfect but who are working hard to have the marriage that God has for them. Observe them. Take them to lunch. Ask them if they would be willing to mentor you for a season. This could literally change the direction of your marriage.

One more thing. There is the truth that if you believe something to be true—even if it is a lie—you will live your life as though it were true. Ask God to reveal to you and your spouse the lies you have believed about marriage and to replace them with His truth.

God has a plan for your marriage. You are both unique. There will never be another you. That means that your marriage is also unique and there will never be another marriage like yours. That was God’s design. As you seek Him, He will guide you into your own Awesome Marriage.

* Gretchen Livingston, “Fewer Than Half of U.S. Kids Today Live in a ‘Traditional’ Family,” Pew Research Center, December 22, 2014, [http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/12/22/less-than-half-of-u-s-kids-today-live-in-a-traditional-family/.]

Today’s Challenge:

Discuss the areas of your marriage where a mentor couple or role model could help. Then seek out those people.

Going Deeper:

Pray together for God to remove any lies about marriage that you have believed to be true and to replace those with His truth.