Lent Journeyনমুনা

DAY 21
Loneliness

Loneliness is part of my life and not something that I am going to experience only at my death. I have been overcome with loneliness even in times while being surrounded by people who love me. But there is a loneliness that is terrifying – when it feels as if even God is not there.

John of the Cross, an old mystic, said that this place where I feel Godforsaken is an important part of my faith journey. As a follower of Christ it’s the dark night of my soul.


It is a place of loneliness, darkness, chaos, doubt and even fear, where I am invited to stand steadfast in faith, even if I am feeling and thinking differently.

It is as if my thoughts and feelings are stripped of a sense of God’s presence. God withdraws Himself from my consciousness, an experience that He uses powerfully in my life, through which I am purified.

Suddenly my ideas about God and my thoughts about faith do not benefit me at all. God is far above what I can pray, think and dream. My faith is not just a warm fuzzy feeling of certainty about what I believe. No, God is ‘far different’ – a mystery! And my faith is a gift beyond my mind and my feeling.

I wish there were a different way, an easier way. But I am going to suffer losses, experience disappointment and rejection. Life is still going to happen to me with feelings of despair that overwhelm me. And like Jesus, I too will feel lonely at times and ask: “Why?”
But this is the path I have to take – a purifying journey on which I follow Jesus in his last hours and being led through the dark night of the soul.

EXERCISE
• In your prayer time of prayer you are invited to, with gratitude, become aware of where you are now in your life.
• Become aware of the times in your life where you experienced something of the dark night of the soul and you felt as if God was not with you.
• Ask God for what you need for what lies ahead of you.
• You are also invited to sit in silence with God (silent prayer*).