The Grace Marriageনমুনা

DAY 6—Grace and Intentionality

Grace is the “why” behind your loving your spouse, and intentionality is the “how.”

The why behind your love for your spouse has to be bigger than having a good marriage. If the why is having a better marriage, you will stop when your efforts don’t seem to work.

But if the why is bringing God glory by loving your spouse well, you’ll keep loving even when times are hard. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). When our why comes from Jesus’ love, acceptance, and forgiveness toward us, we’re filled with excitement to bring glory to His name, and we intentionally put His Word into practice.

Practically speaking, how you love your spouse well is through intentionality in your marriage. You intentionally live out God’s Word in your marriage, realizing that where you place your treasure (like time and money), there your heart will be (see Matthew 6:21). You purposefully create opportunities to grow closer and enjoy one another more. You seek not to simply find a norm you can tolerate, but to consistently pursue a better and better marriage.

Think about this: regularly scheduled maintenance keeps your car running smoothly and addresses small problems before there’s a major failure somewhere. The same analogy applies to your marriage.

Often, people wait until their marriage is on the brink of divorce before pouring resources into it. But being intentional throughout a marriage creates a more vibrant relationship and prevents the crisis. With purposeful attention, your marriage can be marked by joy, intimacy, open communication, fun, respect, and admiration. God intended for us to hold marriage in high regard, so it’s time we flip the world’s boring script and intentionally love and pursue one another.

What would it look like if you became an expert on your spouse’s likes and dislikes? How much better could you communicate if you intentionally listened first to your spouse’s feelings before acting? Imagine the shift in your relationship if you started scheduling undistracted one-on-one time together each week.

In Ephesians 3:20, we are told that God wants infinitely more for us than we can ever ask or imagine. This applies to our marriages too. He desires more joy, intimacy, connection, fun, respect, and delight in our relationships. Through His grace and our intentionality in pursuing our spouse, our marriage will be forever impacted.