BibleProject | Rethinking Love and Romanceনমুনা

We began our journey in a garden, and we conclude in a garden to see one of the greatest-ever examples of real love.

In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus is facing certain death. He’s been betrayed, and the killers are closing in. He can stay true to what God has asked him to do, which includes being brutally murdered, or he can break from God’s will and either fight back with violence or simply run away. And he wrestles with the choice—“Please, remove this cup [this responsibility] from me,” he pleads, asking his Father in Heaven if there is any other way (Luke 22:42a). Like every human, he instinctively wants to survive. But he doesn’t operate on instinct alone, saying to the Father, “Not what I will, but what you will” (Luke 22:42b). Even though what God has asked him to do will cause significant suffering, Jesus stays. In love, he gives himself for the well-being of all humanity and creation.

Jesus is God’s khesed in human form, and his love restores life and partnership between God and humanity. In humility, Jesus chooses to value others above himself. He does not look to his own interests but instead to the interests of others (e.g., Phil. 2:3-4). This kind of love asks: What is best for the other? How can I best care for and bring life to the other?

The Apostle John says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us” (1 John 3:16). The heart of true love is the willingness to give oneself to another, creating an ecosystem of others-focused, self-giving love. Surely this is the kind of love so many of us are looking for.

Those who remain skeptical toward popular ideas of romantic love might argue that the idea of finding “the one” or a single person who “completes” you for the rest of your life is ridiculous. After all, one person could not possibly satisfy all of your needs or make you happy or fulfill your deepest desires for the rest of your life. The biblical authors might very well agree with this conclusion.

The stories in the Bible seem to collectively suggest that no single human being can satisfy your needs. And the expectation to do all of that might end in disappointment and confusion. But what if that wasn’t bad news? What if that self-focused approach is a trap and is not truly the romantic love we really want? What if the Bible’s definition of real love is deeper, more passionate, and more human?

What if romantic love was actually not something you fall into but something you choose—something as difficult as it is fulfilling?

In all our relationships, romantic and otherwise, may we look to Jesus and his ultimate example of what it means to love another person. What wondrous love is this? “To lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

In today’s video, explore how Jesus perfectly embodies another biblical word for love, agape.