Dearest Daughter: Motherly Advice for Moms Who Need Motheringনমুনা

Day Four: Ask God to Make Your Husband Good

Dearest Daughter,

I love reading anything by Ruth Bell Graham, the Reverend Billy Graham’s wife. Over the years, her writings have inspired me, convicted me, and caused me to want to love my husband and children well. I appreciate learning from older and wiser women like Ruth, who have a way of driving a point home sweetly, but with the touch of a velvet hammer. Her words cause you to stop dead in your tracks but always give you hope in the exhortation. I remember reading this quote from Ruth as a young wife:

“It’s my job to love and respect Billy; it’s God’s job to make him good. God called you not to make your husband good but to make him happy.”

Her words stopped me dead in my tracks. Was I living my life this way? Nope.

I was convicted to stop nagging my husband about his faults and, instead, decided to trust God. I asked the Lord to make the changes, and I would focus on making him happy. I also wanted to think about the good things about my husband, so I moved my gaze from the unwanted behavior of my husband and prayed earnestly for him.

This, my daughter, is how you love someone unconditionally. How much more joyful would our little homes be if they were filled with this kind of love and if we aimed to build up our men instead of tearing them down? Of course, there is still a need for honest conversations when a situation arises, but we can talk about things with gentleness and respect, with the Lord’s help.

When we give our expectations and control to the Lord, we can minister to our husbands and be a source of encouragement instead of criticism. We can then truly be like the “loving doe” and “graceful deer” whose husband is intoxicated with her love.

Pray with me…

Lord Jesus, You know my husband better than I ever could. You also know how we can have the best marriage possible. I want that. Help me to learn to talk to my husband in a way that draws him closer to me, and help me to trust that You will make whatever changes are needed in both of us, so I can be free to make my husband happy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I am praying for you, your husband, and your marriage right now.

With much love and prayers,

Mama Deb (your second mom)