Living Changed: When Your Birth Story Didn’t Go As Expectedনমুনা

Healing is a Journey

Have you ever felt like you’re moving in slow motion while the rest of the world keeps speeding by? Has someone made you feel like you were broken because you haven’t gotten better and moved on? I promise you’re not broken; you’re human. When we go through traumatic experiences, our bodies, minds, and hearts take time to heal, and the journey toward healing looks different for everyone.

There was a moment after I got my epidural that I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and I lost the strength to stay sitting upright. My nurse started asking me questions, but I couldn’t move my mouth. Suddenly, everything went black.

When I opened my eyes again, my husband was holding my hand and, just inches away from my face, was yelling, “You can’t do this! You need to wake up! Wake up!” Panic and fear were painted on his face. I had never seen him look so scared. He was terrified that I was going to die, and so was I.

Fast forward to a year later when my husband took me to see a movie. Toward the end of the movie, there was an emotional scene where one of the characters was injured and lying on her back with her loved one leaning over her in fear. My heart started racing, and I felt trapped. I curled up in my seat and started silently crying. My husband thought I was just feeling emotional about the movie, but it wasn’t about the movie at all. It was because, all of a sudden, I felt like I was back in my hospital bed and terrified I might not make it.

The aftermath of trauma is an interesting thing because it can come in waves. Some moments I feel healed from what happened. Then there are other moments where I am most definitely not okay. I can’t always predict when I will feel triggered, but I have learned to anticipate that those moments will be a part of my healing journey.

One of my favorite names for God is Jehovah Rapha, which means “The Lord who heals physical and emotional needs.” What I love about our God is that He is such a gentleman when it comes to our healing. He doesn’t force anything on us that we’re not ready for, and He helps us heal in a way that is unique to us. It may be weeks, months, or even years, but He’s patient to work with us on one thing at a time and in the timing that is best for us.

Psalm 30:2 says, "Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me." God doesn’t just hear our pain and sit in it with us. He also heals our pain.

In moments of frustration, remember that healing is a lifelong journey, not a one time event.Healing doesn’t happen in an instant. It’s a process that’s ever changing. But day by day, moment by moment, rest assured that God sees you, and He hears you. You can be confident that the Great Healer is doing a work in you.

God, I thank you that you’re here with me in my pain. I need Your healing hand in my life. Please work to heal me emotionally and physically from what I’ve been through. You know what I need and when I need it. Today, I’m choosing to trust in You and your healing power for both my physical and emotional needs. In Jesus’ name, Amen.