Confessions of God's People Stuck in the Middleনমুনা

Confessions of a Lonely Queen - Esther

Lord,

I am so lonely. Is it possible to be lonely when people surround me? I have so many blessings that others pray for, so why am I still lonely? I wish I had my mother or father here. I long to sit next to them and hold their hands. I want to ask questions and have them tell me everything will be alright, but I will have to wait for heaven to do that.

People around me seem so busy and full of chatter. They laugh, whisper, and tell inside stories of their fun. I feel so left out.

I escape to my room, where I feel safe. I'm so grateful for my cousin Mordecai. He has taught me so much about you, Lord, the most important thing. But he's a guy! He listens, but he doesn't always understand what it's like to be me. God, I long for someone to know me, really know me. To appreciate my silly sense of humor, to understand the little things about me, like how I like my fish cooked. I want them to know my heart's deep dreams and longings, to see every part of my past and still think I am precious.

My husband knows me on the outside. He knows my body. What about my soul? Will he still want to know me as I age and my beauty fades?

There are parts I have to keep hidden. I can play the role, but I am longing for a friend.

The Lonely Queen

My Dear Esther,

I have seen your pain and isolation, and it is not what I intended for my sons and daughters. We are made to be in a relationship with one another.

The desires of your heart are pure and honest. Remember my provision to you. I provided a guardian for you when you became an orphan. I have put you in a place where you have influence and power over many people. I will give you the wisdom and courage to stand up for what you have been taught.

Trust me. Remember, I kept you safe during the king's audition process. I am going to use this loneliness for good. What seems complicated now will produce something extraordinary. I will use you to be a savior of your people, as I am your Savior. I have positioned you for such a time as this. Trust me. I will bring joy and peace to you and to those you love. I have a plan to save you. I love you.

Your Heavenly Father

* There are recommended Bible passages that will tell you part of Esther's story. If you have the time, consider reading all ten chapters of Esther today to get the whole story.