Confessions of God's People Stuck in the Middleনমুনা

Confessions of an Overwhelmed Wife - Hannah

God Almighty,

I come before you but cannot stand in your presence. I am broken beyond words. I wait, and I wait, but no answer. My eyes have cried.

I have tried to let go of this desire to have a child. I want Your will, not mine, but no matter how hard I try, I can't shake loose that longing in my heart.

When I think I have turned a corner and see progress, I am knocked on my back with pain. I have given the best years of my life to waiting. What is left of me now? When will You answer me? Even the priest drove me away yesterday. He thought I came to the temple drunk and tried to make me leave. Of all people, I thought he would have compassion, but again I was told to be quiet.

My arms long to hold a baby! If I am supposed to let this go, Lord, You will have to give me the strength. I cannot let go of it on my own. I am stuck, afraid to let go of a dream. Am I so wrong? Isn't this desire good? The desire to have a baby with my dear husband? He wants me to love him. He asks why isn't that enough. Lord, why isn't it enough? How come I am punished for a pure and good desire? Why is it so easy for Peninnah? I hate my jealousy. It's so easy for her, year after year. She is so happy and proud of her children. I am happy for her, but Lord, it's bittersweet.

What do the others say about me? I feel them whispering and ignoring me. Maybe what I have is contagious, and they will catch it. So they leave me alone.

Please hear my groans, God, because I am all out of words.

The Overwhelmed Wife

My dear sweet Hannah,

Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. I am the comfort you seek. I know every hair on your head. I knew you even before your beloved mother conceived you. I knit you in your mother's womb; you are an incredible design from your head to your toes. I have loved watching your life unfold, the adventures, and the boldness of your heart. I hear that in your prayers, too. You know what you desire, and you are not afraid to come to me. I love that! Come to me often! I am never tired of hearing your requests.

I will meet all your needs, according to the riches of my glory. When your heart is overwhelmed, come to Me. I am never weary, and I will never let you fall. I will not just answer your prayers, and I will also provide for your physical needs. I love you, and I will give you the desires of your heart.

Your Heavenly Father