Friendship—It's Complicatedনমুনা

Day 6

Do you find yourself getting bitter and angry and going inside of yourself instead of going first to extend love and forgiveness, repeating patterns you wish you would stop repeating? Let’s read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

If love truly is patient and kind, doesn’t envy or boast, and isn’t proud . . . if love genuinely isn’t self-seeking or easily angered and doesn’t hold a record of wrongs, then what does that mean for us? How can we own our shortfalls, intentionally invite the Holy Spirit in, and then begin to change?

And sometimes, we have to choose to go first and carve a path to forgiveness, reconciliation and healing, even when we wish someone else would. We’ve learned together that fundamental ownership of one’s life changes everything and is a building block to authentic connection. This is an invitation to do the right thing and go first, even when our human nature wants someone else to fix the issue at hand instead.

I have always felt that it’s disempowering to only point out a problem without having a meaningful, practical way forward. I have seen in my own life that through a combination of the Word, my free will to make different choices, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to empower me, the choice to remain in godly community, and wise counsel from a select few, I slowly but surely keep changing, growing, and jumping over the hurdles placed in front of me.

Once our personal hurdles are identified, we can begin to train ourselves through intention, passion, discipline, the power of the Holy Spirit, and renewal from the Word of God to jump over them. The evidence of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us is the fruit of the Spirit outside of us. Based on Galatians 5:22-23, this means that cultivating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control is what causes us to choose to go first to say sorry, ask for forgiveness, and let go whether a bridge is built or not.

Reflection Points

• Let’s look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. When it comes to loving another person, what part of this scripture is your biggest hurdle in going first? Is it patience with friends? Kindness during times of anger? Being envious when others are boasting? Take time to write these down and ask the Holy Spirit where He wants to step in and redeem these qualities.

• What’s your biggest hurdle to going first in forgiving or saying you’re sorry?

• What are some actionable ways you can go first to give the gift of grace and encouragement to those you call friends?