Friendship—It's Complicatedনমুনা

Day 5

Does anyone else totally relate to the arguments amongst the disciples?

Luke 22:24 says, “A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest.”

Jesus reminds them once again that whoever wants to be the greatest is the one who becomes a servant of all. Oh, and let’s not forget that at the Last Supper, Jesus publicly calls out His betrayer while the disciples “question among themselves”—that is, gossip about—“which of them it might be who would do this” (22:21–23).

And Jesus doesn’t hold back with Peter either, who, in what appears to be an extreme swing for the fences, making sure everyone knows he’s not the betrayer, shouts (well, as I read it, I imagine he shouts), “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death” (22:33). Jesus tells Peter that by the next morning (when the rooster crows), he will have denied that he ever knew Jesus, not just once, but three times. Drama, drama, and more drama. I mean, even after this very melodramatic last meal together, Jesus needs His three closest friends to watch and pray with Him in the garden during His darkest hour before He goes to His death, and He finds them sleeping (22:39–46).

That’s just a snippet of some of the interactions Jesus had with His twelve disciples—the people He chose to walk in close relationship with. Jesus shows us that He doesn’t let drama slip by; He addresses it head-on and sometimes it gets awkward. He doesn’t ignore it; He speaks to it. He knows it’s a part of the human story, but it doesn’t get to dominate the conversation or have the last word. We see mood swings, dramatic statements, mistrust, insecurity, comparison, competition, gossip, games, jealousy, and apathy, amongst the disciples in the gospels.

So, if Jesus had drama all around Him and addressed and walked through it, so can we. To have uncomplicated relationships, avoid the drama, and begin to create authentic connection, we have to keep Jesus right in the center of it all.

The Great Commission is at hand. We need to face ourselves, heal in Christ, and link arms with others to live on mission.

In Philippians 4:2–3, Paul pleads with Euodia and Syntyche, two women he has co-labored with in the gospel, to get it together. “I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.”

They are so valuable to the cause of Christ that Paul addresses them in a letter to the church of Philippi. Something was obviously going on with these two women, and even though we don’t have the details, we know that they were friends on mission together, and it mattered that they sorted out their issues to advance the gospel.

Contend for peace, love, and unity. Walk in your God-given identity as an example to others, no matter what goes on around you, and call others to rise to the challenge as well.

• In which friendships can you contend for peace, love and unity? What are practical ways you can do this?

•Where am I being a hearer of the Word and not a doer of the Word?

•Where have you been complicit in gossip or slander? Where can you repent, apologize or make things right? Where do you need to stop blaming environments for why you act the way you act?