Back Togetherনমুনা

Waking Up Next to a Stranger

By Lisa Lakey

Rolling over in bed one morning, I was shocked to realize there was a strange man in my bed.

He looked similar to someone I once knew: red hair (although I didn’t recall the white hairs sprinkled in), freckles, broad shoulders, large feet dangling carelessly off the edge. 

Once upon a time, I married him.

The thing is, if we aren’t intentional students of our spouses, we may one day find ourselves waking up to a stranger in the bed. 

How often have you felt, no one really knows me? Chances are, your spouse has felt the same way.

Proverbs tells us to “rejoice in the wife of your youth” (5:18). When was the last time you got excited over your spouse?

Sure, they’ve changed. My redhead now has less red hair, but he’s still the man I rejoiced in saying “I do” with. I just need to intentionally learn about the man God is growing him to be—and there is a lot to celebrate about that.

Come to think of it; I’ve changed, too. My waistline isn’t what it was on our wedding day, but we have two beautiful children who grew within it. My husband might not stay up all night talking with me like he used to, but those slightly-more-wrinkled hands work more hours than he did in his 20s to provide for our family.

Your spouse should change. I’m thankful we aren’t the same kids as when we met 20 years ago. We’ve matured (mostly), grown (through good and bad), and life has weathered the two of us. 

But there’s no one I’d rather wake up next to.

Action points: Get to know the person you married, even if it’s been 50 years since your vows. Plan a second “first date.” Over dinner or coffee, ask questions to get to know them all over again.