Conflict as a Catalystনমুনা

Marriage can sometimes feel like a lot of hard work. There are big conflicts to resolve and differences to work around. Yes, there are times to get counseling and have difficult conversations, but often the maintenance of marriage is as easy as doing the simple things that build intimacy. 

I love the illustration Dr. John Trent uses of a spaceship: A NASA engineer once explained that a 2-degree variance from liftoff to the moon would change the trajectory by 11,121 miles from the intended path. Trent applied that to our small choices in relationships. Missing the little things can make a big difference. In the same way, investing in little changes in your marriage can result in significant changes in the climate of your relationship. Here are a few small changes you can make right now to make a big difference:

Show excitement and affection when you see your spouse. When he or she walks through the door, smile and maybe even walk over to offer a hug. 

Text nice things throughout the day. A simple I love you or I’m thinking about you can cheer up your spouse and evoke positive feelings in your marriage. 

Show a simple act of kindness by emptying the dishwasher, washing your wife’s car, or picking up his dry cleaning. 

Say thank you. Your spouse likely does a lot for you that you have taken for granted over the years—things like cooking meals every day, sacrificing for your career, or being a listening ear. When was the last time you said thank you? 

Do something fun together. Over the years of marriage, time together and even dates can become more like business meetings than a romantic getaway. Invest in laughing and exploring life as a couple. 

Pray together. The simple act of asking for God’s blessing on your marriage can do a lot to knit your hearts together.

CONTEMPLATING CONFLICT: 

Out of the suggestions mentioned above, which do you feel your marriage would most benefit from if you were to implement that small change immediately? Why? What are some other small changes you could make to strengthen your marriage today? 

CONFLICT AS CATALYST: 

Here is a simple action step you can utilize in your marriage: GET IT DONE!  The longer you wait to do something, the more likely it is that you will actually never get it done.  The longer you wait to invest in your marriage, the more likely it is that you will never get to experience all that God has and intended for it to be. Don't underestimate doing the small thing. Just get it done! By implementing small changes over time, and sticking to them, you will surely see a big difference in you, your spouse, and your marriage!