Self-care is baby care

The postpartum season can be likened in many ways to a black hole. You forget what day it is. You can’t remember the last time you showered. And you haven’t left the house in weeks. Don’t get me wrong: many aspects of this time are blissful. You are constantly snuggling a newborn baby and creating a beautiful parent-child bond, after all. But, if you’re not careful, it’s very much like being sucked into a timewarp. 

An inherent expectation of adulthood is that you will take care of yourself, but what about when you’re busy taking care of somebody else? I spent an absurd amount of days forgetting to feed myself breakfast and lunch when Wesley was a baby. Thankfully, generous people were bringing us dinner, or else I would have forgotten to eat then too! For fear of leaving the baby for even a moment, I would forgo a shower until Craig got home. But, by the time that came around, I was too exhausted to get up from the couch, let alone spend time exercising or bothering with my hair. 

The perceived and actual list of demands on a new parent can be debilitating at first. You’ve probably never in your life had to balance your own needs with every single need of another person before. It can be so challenging to know how to juggle this, but learning to care for yourself is something you need to value and figure out. Your personal needs are more important to your baby than you could ever imagine because, if you’re not healthy and thriving, your baby isn’t either. 

It’s a fact: if you have not eaten, showered, or spent time outside on any given day, you will naturally be more irritable and on edge. These days will inevitably come, but setting up expectations for yourselves now will be crucial to keep you from burnout. Setting standards to hold each other to is a great way to avoid this lack of self-care. How often do you want to make sure you shower? How often do you want to make sure you brush your teeth? What about meals? I know this sounds childish, but when the time comes, it will be so helpful to hold yourselves accountable to the life you all want together, even if it’s just basic hygiene!

You and your spouse will truly need to look out for each other in this area. Like we’ve said before, suggest to your spouse, “Hey, hun, why don’t you let me take the baby for a while so you can go take some time for yourself?” I can honestly say there is no greater gift of love than those words! If you notice your spouse getting cabin fever, ask if they’d like to take a walk together with the stroller. Fight for each other’s wellness and everyone will be happier and healthier. 

New normals will come. Remember to be patient with each other. This season is short, but the days are long and require patience with the process. Enjoy it while it lasts, because those sweet days will be gone before you know it. Your life is changing for the better, and this new normal will be one you couldn’t ever imagine living without.