Sleep, or lack thereof

I don’t think anything can prepare you for the actual lack of sleep you experience in the early months of parenting. The first few days and weeks become a blur from sheer exhaustion. Of course, there are the truly blissful newborn snuggle moments to look forward to, but the transition from catching peaceful Z’s to semi-sleep deprivation is a draining unlike I had ever experienced in my life. Some of the strangest, most pointless fights in our marriage happened in the middle of those long, sleepless nights.

You and your partner are both going to be stretched beyond belief, and it’s best now to talk about it, set expectations, and make a plan for how you will care for each other and yourselves. 

In the early days, you’ll live in a tension between making sure you maintain your own mental health while also monitoring and having grace for your spouse’s mental health. There will be arguments. You will each need to learn to talk it out, reconcile, and then let things go. Allow for God's grace to prevail, all while fighting hard to serve and look out for each other’s needs. Remember: This is a momentary season. Even though at times it will feel like you might never sleep again, you will! 

One of the most important pieces to remember in the middle of the night is that your lack of sleep isn’t without great purpose. There is a depth of meaning and goodness in the groggy night feedings. Whether you're breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, you are literally giving life to your precious baby. You are laying down your life for theirs and building a foundation for how you will parent them for the rest of your life. There is a great transformation happening in your heart as you become a parent; I’m sure you feel it even now. God uses our little ones to sanctify and transform us into the image of his beautiful, selfless Son. And it starts right at the beginning, even with sleep or lack thereof.

The Bible says of God in Isaiah 40:11, “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” Most importantly, know that on this new, challenging, beautiful journey, God is with you, in your midst. He is our Good Shepherd, guiding us in uncharted territory, carrying us close to his chest. He is gentle with us as we learn to navigate this new sleep-deprived time as a family. And it is of the utmost importance we are also gentle with ourselves and each other.

God’s grace covers it all. The sleepless nights, the pain of nursing, the frustration when things don’t go according to our plan—they are all covered in his grace. So, at the foundation of this journey, choose together to make your family and home one built firmly on and saturated in grace.