Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons From Ephesiansনমুনা

Hidden Dangers

A few years ago, I discovered a tiny stain on the ceiling. After ignoring it for a few months, I decided to investigate. I gently poked the area with my finger and discovered that the drywall was soft.

I then cut a small hole in the ceiling just large enough to fit a hand inside and feel around. When I did, my hand emerged covered in an odd dust I couldn’t identify. As I expanded my access hole to get a better view, I was able to discover the source of the dust … termites.

By the time I was done tracing back the path of destruction, I had completely removed the ceiling, the walls, and two large sections of the adjacent living room. The little critters completely devoured three vertical support beams and severely damaged several joists supporting the second floor. My son’s entire bedroom had been in danger of collapse, but we didn’t even know it. The only thing that had been visible was a small, half-inch stain. From our point of view everything looked fine, but on the inside, our home was crumbling.

Hidden sins in a marriage are similar. They can be easy to overlook.  Maybe it’s a sarcastic comment, an extended sigh, or a lingering eye. Issues which, when compared against those of our friends, can seem small. But like a tiny stain on an otherwise perfectly white ceiling, there may be something more serious hiding just beneath the surface. That sarcastic comment could be a sign of disrespect. That sigh might be hiding a discontented heart and a lingering eye.

It’s easy to convince ourselves that as long as we can keep our sins hidden, they can’t hurt anyone. But like the termites slowly destroying a home, secret sins tend to destroy us from the inside out. They eat away at the very foundations of intimacy and trust necessary for marital oneness and need to be dealt with right away.

In Ephesians, Paul tells us how, but his prescription is not something we like to hear. He says we need to “expose them.” We need to have the courage to disrupt the illusion of health, tear down the façade, and expose the sin hiding underneath. 

Next time you see a stain developing in your marriage, ask God for the courage to investigate further. It may get messy for a while, but it is the only way to ensure that little problems, don’t turn into big ones. 

Pray: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

For more help read, “Don’t Let Bitterness Poison Your Marriage” by Sabrina McDonald on FamilyLife.com.