Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Brokenናሙና

You never forget the day that changes your life forever. The day that turns your heart and your family upside down. My day arrived on February 19, 2002. On this particular morning, I was unpacking boxes and “nesting” in the home we just purchased a few days earlier in Edmond, Oklahoma. I was thrilled to be in a new place.

Until my husband walked in the front door unexpectedly about an hour after he left for work.

His face was solemn, and he asked if we could talk. My mind began to spin with anticipation of what might come out of his mouth. I waited for him to reassure me that all was well in this new life. But instead of words of comfort, the man I loved was about to share news that would alter the course of our lives in unimaginable ways. 

He said, “I’ve been unfaithful to you. Many different times, women, and places over the past 2 ½ years of our marriage.”

I trembled from my head to my feet as my mind went crazy with disbelief. The very real physical pain of my heart breaking took me by surprise. His eyes were tender, and I could tell he was devastated by watching me. As the reality set in of what his news was doing to my heart, he began to cry.

Betrayal. It’s here and no matter how many times you wish it away, it won’t leave. It’s something that is stamped onto your marriage resume for the rest of your days. Can you relate to that kind of letdown? Destruction? Devastation? When the walls have fallen down with such force that you could not breathe beneath the pressure of the debris or see beyond the dust of the rubble?

If you are feeling alone, know that I am here to help you along your journey. God desires to make you whole, even as the pieces of your known existence seem to be scattered to every corner of the universe. If the walls have tumbled and you cannot recognize truth from lies in the remains, know that God’s grace and power to transform your life are right there in the midst of the ruins. 

Hold on to your belief in redemption. I kept mine. Please keep yours as we walk together toward healing.