Raising Men Not Boysናሙና

WISDOM TO NAVIGATE THE TEEN YEARS

Before high school there is junior-high. Inevitably, your son and his friends will learn the kind of humor that seems to uniquely rattle the funny bone of junior high boys. The home you raised your son in may have been untarnished from the rude and crude bathroom humor so common to adolescents, but it has a way of finding your boy. So don’t be surprised when farting, belching, spitting, and anything related to bodily functions becomes the height of comedy to your boy. Our culture doesn’t do much to inhibit this brand of humor. Actually, our society seems to work overtime to ensure that it is a permanent part of every man’s adult life. Many of the comedy movies that do so well at the box office seem aimed at seventh-grade boys. And yet these movies and their jokes will attract and appeal to the baser part of people from almost every demographic. 

While it may be impossible to imagine a junior-high boy who isn’t going to laugh at someone passing gas in his classroom, I do believe we have a responsibility as parents, especially as Christian parents, not to prolong or feed this natural appetite for immature bathroom humor. I would suggest there is a whole genre of comedies that just aren’t worth him or you seeing. Ever. There will be enough taking place in their own junior-high universe that provokes that sort of laughter. I certainly don’t need script writers and foley artists to add to their hunger for base humor. When at home and some inevitable situation along these lines prompts a laugh from the whole family, I’d recommend saying, as I did, “That was our quota for the week.” As with certain words or topics of discussion, I would often on the spot make up a quota for that subject. “That’s a once a month word,” or “That is enough on that topic for two weeks.”

Profanity or vulgarity should never be allowed, but in the course of everyday life there will be unavoidable issues, descriptions, or comments that arise, which you’d hate to see become normal fare for your boy. An assortment of indelicate topics will surely make their peers roar with laughter, egging them on for more, but as parents we ought to raise the bar of civility and decorum even during their junior high and high school years.

In every situation, let us remain mindful of what is never appropriate for the people of God:

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. (Eph. 5:3–6)

We should never be willing to laugh, nor allow our children laugh, at the things that will bring judgment to the lost people of this world.