Raising Men Not Boysናሙና

ENVISION A MAN'S FUTURE EVERY DAY

The very first couple received a foundational calling in the familiar words “Be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28), and repeated various times. With the laudable (and rare) exception of forsaking marriage and family for the sake of kingdom advancement, in the spirit of Jesus Christ Himself (Matt. 19:12), raising children to produce the next generational society is to be the norm. Unless you are a confirmed “kingdom single,” the biblical expectation is the covenant of marriage and the subsequent engagement in raising children for the fulfillment of God’s global plan and for Christ’s eternal glory. The big perspective then is that your little boy was not entrusted to you to bring you joy, fulfill you, or make you happy—though I pray he will. His temporary consignment to your family is to prepare him to take his place in this world as a trophy of God’s grace and as an agent of God’s values and priorities in this upcoming generation.

The Scriptures tell us children are the glory of their parents (Prov. 17:6). A simple yet profound readjustment of our parenting mindset makes analogies like the one found in Psalm 127 come to life. God illustrates the role of a mom and dad like this: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” (Ps. 127:3–5a). 

It is considered a blessing in God’s economy to be a spiritual archer in your generation, having a case over your shoulder filled with young children that you are aiming and launching into the next generation! What a vivid and rare perspective on being a parent. Your boy is for a time in your home, under your care, and in proximity of your influence to be thoughtfully pointed, and launched, and propelled into the future to make a strategic impact for the Lord’s good purposes.

Can you see how this perspective can transform your perspective from the very beginning? So many modern parents’ voices begin to quiver when they imagine their little boy growing up. They lament the thought of him one day moving out and moving on. They see his forthcoming maturity as some kind of foreboding eventuality, instead of as the whole point of having him in the first place: the gratifying goal of shooting these arrows into the world that God has planned for them to impact.

So, from the beginning get this truth in your heart and mind. That squirmy little infant you bring home from the hospital is, in a short number of years, intended by God’s design to step into His world as a young man who will make a difference for Christ. Your job is to release him to this reality. Your goal cannot be to “hang on to him as long as possible.” Your hope must be to see him become that independent, mature, functioning adult. God has made this arrangement very clear.