Five Things to Look for in a Future Wifeናሙና

The first time I saw Nancy, I was overwhelmed by her physical beauty. Yet, I knew from some of my past relationships that if her beauty was only skin deep, she was not what I was looking for.

Over the next 18 months, I began to see her inner beauty. I saw someone who wanted to continue learning more about Jesus and what it means to follow Him every day. We both wanted that. We did not know how to do that but that was our goal. We were on the same path. There were times when one of us was running faster after Jesus than the other. There were also times when one of us got stuck or took a detour…but we were both running after the same thing.

Over the years of our marriage, I’ve seen Nancy’s beauty grow as she faithfully spends time with the Lord. Her “inner self” (1 Peter 3) has been shaped by her relationship with Jesus. Who she is in Christ has impacted our family in many ways: her love for me and our children has deepened, her kindness and wisdom have grown, and many other things have truly improved our relationship.

As men, we are visual and a woman’s outer beauty is usually what first catches our eye. If it didn’t, we probably wouldn’t pursue getting to know her. It’s that outer beauty that drives us to learn more, but Proverbs 31:30 says that outer beauty is “fleeting.” So if outer beauty is not matched by inner beauty, we need to walk away. A friend told me something that really made a difference for me. He said, “Why would you ever go on a first date with someone that is not a Christian? Every marriage begins with a first date.” There was so much wisdom in those words. As you look for your future wife, why not take those words to heart?

Prayer:

Father, in my dating, help me to see the unfading beauty of the gentle and quiet spirit of a woman who sees herself through your eyes. Amen.