Relational God, Relational Parenting: A Five Day Devotionalናሙና

Can you relate?

"Last night in my house, everyone was tired and grumpy. The kids were fighting. I had an argument with my husband. We were all in Red or Yellow Brain. Everyone went to bed angry and upset. This morning is a new day though. The sun is shining, I had a good night’s sleep, and I feel ready for a fresh start. I’m not a perfect parent."

Kids don’t need perfect parents; they need parents who admit they made a mistake and work to fix their mistakes. They need us to model confession, forgiveness, and connection.

But we're only ready to do those things when we are content and engaged. When our brain sends us those signals, it’s giving us the green light that means we are ready to learn and grow. The part of our brain that sends us these signals is the neocortex, which we call Green Brain. It is our thinking brain—our connecting, decision-making, empathetic brain.

We have two primary goals in Green brain—connection and reconnection—with both our Creator and those living in our home.

Connection: Relationships require intentional time. Whether it’s our relationship with God or with our families, we need to invest time for them to grow. When I lived in England, I met a priest who introduced me to the concept of morning, evening, and night prayers. As someone who has studied psychology and teaching, I recognized this ancient practice as the work of attachment.

Attachment is all about developing relationships through intentional connection.

Our kids benefit from a similar pattern of one-on-one, uninterrupted, intentional time in the mornings, afternoon/after school, and at night before bed. It seems so obvious and easy, but so often the busyness of life interferes with us giving our children even small amounts of uninterrupted, 1-on-1 time throughout the day. And then of course, we have the moments when our brains are in Red or Yellow. In those moments, anger and stress take over, and we say or do things we shouldn’t, fracturing the connection.

Reconnection: As parents, we love our children, but when we slip into Red and Yellow, our children don’t feel that love. Green Brain is time to confess our mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and do the work to repair relationships—with our God, our kids and other loved ones.

God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. He is the God of relationships! A God of love. A God of forgiveness and grace. He longs for a deep intimate relationship with each of us, and He often compares our relationship with Him to that of a parent and child. God is the perfect caregiver, but we are not. Parenting is hard work, and we will blow it sometimes. We can’t do it on our own strength. But we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. We can ask for forgiveness and acknowledge when we are wrong and where we need to grow. That is what really matters.

Today's challenge is to take time to invest in the relationships in your life—with God, your child, and others. Do the work of connection and reconnection with those you love.