Relational God, Relational Parenting: A Five Day Devotionalናሙና

As parents, we are often tired. There are always so many demands on time and attention. Our stress level increases just thinking about all the needs and wants of our family who depend on us. And on top of that, we sometimes stay up late. We often use the little sliver of peace and quiet in our day to clean, send emails, and sort out our life without interruptions. Then we end up even more tired the next day. We all know this tired, busy, frazzled feeling. We know we are not our best selves in those times.

This is Yellow Brain.

What we call Yellow Brain is the Limbic system, the emotional center of the brain. The yellow signal of a stoplight indicates that we need to use caution, slow down, watch out, and be careful. When we feel unvalued, disconnected, stressed, or irritable, that is our body’s way of sending a signal that something isn’t right. There are some needs that must be met. We need to watch out because if these needs aren’t met there is danger ahead. The needs might be physical (like sleep or food) or emotional (like connection or love).

At their core, these needs are really just us asking if we matter. Are our needs met? Are we loved? Does anyone care about us? God not only knows this, but He also created us this way. We need and desire to be loved and valued because we were made to love and to be loved! We were created to have a loving relationship with God.

And the great news is that when these yellow signals go off in our brains God sees us and He loves us—just as we are and not as we want to be, should be, or could be. Zephaniah says He delights in and rejoices over us with singing. Not because we did anything to earn it but because we are His children.

God loves us! We are loved.

Something so simple yet so profound—Jesus loves me! Reflect on how many times you think badly of yourself: the guilt, the shame, how often you beat yourself up and tell yourself you are not loveable, not a good enough parent. Then think about the fact that Jesus Loves YOU! You are completely known to Him. He sees you, your pain, your struggles, and He values you.

God wants you to connect with him. John 15 says “I am the vine; you are the branches; apart from me you can do nothing.” We cannot love our children well when we disconnect from Jesus. Recognize that the stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and depletion of Yellow Brain is an invitation to come back to Jesus and receive the love, comfort, and care that is found in Him.

Drawing near to Jesus doesn’t magically make all our challenges go away. However, it does remind us that we are heard, seen, valued, and loved in the midst of those challenges. Jesus knows the only way to help someone move from Yellow to Green is through connection.