God, Sex, and Your Marriageናሙና

Passionate Celebration

Have you ever met a grumpy Christian? God’s covenant people are not only called to be holy, faithful, and obedient, but also full of joy. The Bible is filled with the encouragement to celebrate God’s love and to rejoice in the Lord even when things are difficult. One of the “fruits” of the Spirit’s work in our life is joy!

Rejoicing in God sometimes takes effort. Perhaps you can relate to showing up for church with a heavy heart or even in the middle of a conflict with your spouse. The last thing you feel like doing is worshiping. But if you will enter into the spirit of worship and focus on God’s goodness, you might even find your mood lifting.

In a similar way, God wants you as a married couple to regularly celebrate your love. Even when things are difficult, you can take time away together to focus on having fun and experiencing the pleasure of sex. Working on your sex life might feel like hard work, but it should also include times of joy, playfulness, and fun.

Some Christians are ambivalent about experiencing sexual pleasure in marriage. They wonder, does God really want us to enjoy sex? If this describes you, just consider the book of Song of Solomon, the only book in the Bible about a human relationship. God not only chose marriage as the focus, but specifically sexual intimacy and pleasure within marriage.

The other three aspects of covenant love (faithfulness, intimate knowing, and sacrificial love) set the table for you as a couple to enjoy each other in the safety and intimacy of your marriage. The holy pleasure God desires for you in your sexual relationship can flourish when you are committed to faithfulness, you are on a journey of true intimacy, and you both have the attitude of wanting to love each other sacrificially.

There are so many ways in our world in which sexual pleasure is perverted. Marriage is the one place where God says, “This is very good.” For many couples, sexual pleasure isn’t something that just happens. You may have to be intentional about pursuing pleasure together and addressing emotional or physical barriers.

Your sex life is worth fighting for, and not just because it is an important part of your marriage. More importantly, it represents a spiritual battlefield.

Author Christopher West observes:

If the body and sex are meant to proclaim our union with God, and if there’s an enemy who wants to separate us from God, what do you think he’s going to attack? If we want to know what is most sacred in this world, all we need to do is look for what is most violently profaned.

The spiritual battle around sexuality is an important why behind your pain and frustration. It is also the why that will compel you to fight for your sex life.

1. Have you ever considered that experiencing sexual pleasure in marriage is important to God? Why or why not?
2. Why do you think God created sex to be pleasurable? What does this aspect of sex reveal about the nature of God?
3. What is the most helpful thing you learned in this devotional plan encouraging you to fight for sexual intimacy in your marriage?