Hacking Dating: A Dating Guide for Christiansናሙና

Get to Know Yourself

Knowing and being confident in who you are before you start dating is essential, and it begins by understanding who God says you are: accepted, loved, and worthy. From this foundation, you can begin to build your self-confidence to date well, even if (and when) dating doesn’t go as planned.

1. Know Your Standards for Yourself

Do you have a lengthy list of the qualities you want in a partner? Maybe you’ve even gone so far as to write down the type of career you’d like them to have or specifics about their appearance. While it’s definitely good to have standards (more on that later), make sure they aren’t one-sided and have standards for yourself as well.

Knowing your personal standards starts by knowing your worth. Do you know what you bring to the table? Are you confident in who you are as a man or woman of God? Have you found true peace and happiness on your own? Just like you probably want the man you date to be emotionally available or the woman you date to be trustworthy and loyal, your future partner deserves those qualities in you too.

2. Understand Your Motives

Why do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it because you’re ready to serve someone in a relationship? Or is it because you’re feeling lonely? Is it because you’ve done the work and feel prepared to enter into a marriage commitment? Or is it because all of your friends are getting married, and you feel behind? Is it because you’re open to meeting new people and trusting God during the dating process? If so, that’s great! Just be honest with yourself. If you realize you’re dating just to have fun and curb the Saturday night loneliness, it might not be the right time for you to invest in another person. Ensuring your motives are pure will make the dating experience more enjoyable for you and the people you meet.

3. Prepare Yourself to Date Well

Preparing to date well starts by knowing your worth and your motives. It includes knowing what God says about dating, marriage, purity, and commitment and choosing to honor Him above all else during the process. It also means making sure you are ready, spiritually and emotionally, to treat others well and invest in people’s lives in a healthy and beneficial way. All of this makes Christian dating more enjoyable and successful.