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A Message from Your Brain

Most of us assume helping others grow means telling them what we think they need to hear. We started to scratch the surface of this issue yesterday. Think about yourself. Most of the time, the one thing that really makes you stop and think is a well-timed, well-phrased question.

Why are questions so powerful? Why did Jesus so often lead with questions? Brain enthusiast, Dr. David Rock, who founded the NeuroLeadership Group, suggests when another person offers you advice—or even simply shares an opinion with you—your brain tends to interpret that as a threat to your own ideas.

What’s crazy is, your brain usually responds to questions in the opposite way. Brains think of questions like rewards. “Hmm, this person thinks I have good ideas,” your brain says as it blasts off synapses, trying to prove them right. Questions push us inside ourselves, where we re-evaluate assumptions and opinions to formulate a response that incorporates the new information at hand. Questions literally make your brain work like no other communication can.

I read somewhere that Jesus asked around 300 questions in the New Testament. Almost every time Jesus asked a question, He was trying to help people grow spiritually and take the next step toward change. Sound familiar?

Here’s a number I looked up myself. Jesus was asked 183 questions in the New Testament. Do you know how many of those questions He gave a direct answer to? Three. So, 180 times Jesus answered the question … with another question! So, how do you feel about questions now? See what I did there?

It’s way easier and faster to just tell people what you think they need to know. But, if you can follow Jesus’ model and make the switch from "instructor" to "inquirer," you'll notice your conversations evolve into incubators for spiritual growth.

So, lose the pressure to be an advice-giver. Follow the example of Jesus and learn to ask others great questions in your everyday, but increasingly extraordinary conversations. Oh, and enjoy reading and trying to answer a few of Jesus’ questions for you.

Act: Try this today. The first time you’re in a conversation with someone who voices frustration or lack of direction, just ask questions, don’t give advice, stay open to the Holy Spirit, and watch what happens.