The Lies Couples BelieveIsampula

You Complete Me

Lie #2: My spouse can categorically, completely, and comprehensively meet all my needs.

To fight this lie, we need to humbly and gratefully acknowledge that God is the one who “will meet all [our] needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:19). God is the only one capable of fully meeting our needs. We are to turn to God as the one who can completely meet our needs, not our spouses.

To apply this truth to your marriage, go to God with a particular need you have and ask Him to meet that need through your spouse. I think we can safely assume that God wants to work through your spouse to meet the legitimate needs you have. Then, take that need to your spouse and ask if he or she would be willing to meet it.

Finally, we are to acknowledge that Christ “did not come to be served, but to serve” (Matt. 20:28). The idea here is that rather than go into marriage each day looking to take from our spouses, we need to be looking to give to our spouses.

The practical application of serving each other in marriage is difficult because in our “flesh” we are inherently bent toward taking, not giving. A lot of us are in a “two ticks and no dog” marriage in which we take so much more from each other than we give. Christ, the perfect role model for what it means to love, gave so much more than He ever received. It is extremely humbling to follow Christ’s example, especially when your spouse doesn’t seem to have any interest in doing so.

Another human being cannot complete you. Let’s lower the bar to a more human level when it comes to the needs we want our spouses to meet. Instead of demanding our spouses meet all our needs, let’s ask them to meet the needs they can, genuinely appreciate it when they do, and watch in great anticipation as God meets all our needs through the people and means available to Him. Deal?

God, please help me to take my needs to You each day and be truly thankful for how You choose to meet them. Help me become the kind of person who thinks first about what my spouse needs from me and to gladly meet those needs.