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The Benefits of a Sexual Hiatus

Even if a couple is willing to have sex with each other, intimate moments can still seem strained. This is the kind of situation that can be improved by agreeing to a sexual hiatus. A sexual time-out is a way of turning down the pressure created by unmet expectations. When you do resume sex after a break, it can grow into something more inspired and wholly meaningful rather than perfunctory.

Additional benefits that can be derived from a sexual hiatus include:

1. Redistribution of power and responsibility. Human sexuality has its own power of expression. But like any form of power, it can be abused. A husband or wife can become demanding or wield power through strict refusals. Areas of responsibility can also become blurred.

2. Space to reevaluate the relationship and take responsibility for any abuses of power or distortions of pure desire by the contaminants in pornography.

3. Healing of the past and starting again.

4. An opportunity to reinstate sexual honesty, caring, and pure expressions through sex.

5. Grounding of the marriage in mutual commitment and fidelity.

6. Time to evaluate specific sexual activity. This is an ideal time to ponder what has been enjoyable as well as problematic in the lovemaking experience.

7. Neurological detoxification. In section 5, we talked about the biochemical aspects of sexual addiction. The pornography addict needs a sexual time-out to detoxify his brain’s heightened sexual chemistry. It’s believed that this biochemical rebalancing can be significantly kick-started through thirty days of intentional abstinence, which includes refraining from fantasizing and masturbation.

8. Discovery of emotions. Once the self-medicating anesthesia of sexual indulgence wears off, the pornography addict has a chance to thaw out emotionally. This in turn allows him to become better informed and more insightful about his own emotions.

9. An opportunity to practice the discipline of self-control. Abstinence from any powerful craving enhances self-control, which in turn gives the addict a greater sense of personal wellness. In this way, his distorted belief that sex is his greatest need can be exposed as a lie and replaced with truth.

Next, we’ll look at the necessity of mutual consent.