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The Facets of Love

Love has several aspects, and each is designed to be an integral part of a marriage relationship. There is first the magnetic drawing of two people together, which is usually termed desire (Ge 29:18) and which should remain a very important facet of every marriage (Pr 5:17–19). Love also has a facet of romance—strong, sweet and absorbing (Ge 26:8–9). Genuine love is marked by contentment with each other, and a sense of assurance and belonging that enables partners to care for one another and to give the promise of total loyalty (Ru 3:9–11). The fourth facet of love is friendship, with an emphasis on communicating and being close, sharing thoughts and feelings and dreaming together (SS 2:14).

These four aspects of love are held together with God’s love, which is absolutely essential if the marriage is going to endure. God’s love is unconditional; it is given with no thought of response. Self- sacrificing love (Gk., Agapē) is an act of the will and not the emotions (1Co 13:4–8). Agapē love is unselfish and undemanding, realizes the value of the loved one, recognizes responsibility for the beloved, continues to grow, never fades and is pure (1Co 13:12–13).

God demands permanence in marriage (Mal 2:16), but he intended for it to be a growing, loving relationship from beginning to end (Ecc 9:9). This is a truth bound up in God’s will, and thus it is possible for Christians to accomplish it.

As all five aspects of love come to find expression in a marriage relationship, permanence is assured. The house will be built, established and filled with precious and pleasant riches (Pr 14:1; 24:3–4).