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Day 4: Wounded: The Loss of Eden

Today, we are invited to consider going back into our stories–into the beauty and the brokenness, the joy and the pain, the places where Eden was lost and the False Self was created.

The False Self comes from the places in our hearts that were missed and harmed, where we were wounded as little girls or as adults, long ago and perhaps even just yesterday.

In moments of wounding, harm, and loss, we are renamed. What names landed on you in those moments? Where is there shame in your story? How did you learn to shut down your heart? This is where we are being invited to linger for a little while.

In Luke 4, Jesus declares one of his purposes is bringing good news to the poor, releasing captives, and setting the oppressed free. When the False Self is constructed, our True hearts are often locked away, held captive, exiled out of self-protection. Jesus longs for our whole self to be set free to live and move and have our being in him!

We need to go back in our stories, particularly to our stories of harm. There are things in your story that need to be named, in order for there to be grieving, healing, and restoring that Jesus offers and provides.

Often we distance ourselves from our pain and wounding moments, minimizing them or comparing them with others. We often try to stay positive and push past them.

Imagine with me that the sun is setting. In not allowing ourselves to name and process the past, we are running after the setting sun, but “the quickest way for anyone to reach the sun and the light of day is NOT to run west, chasing after the setting sun, but to head east into the darkness until one comes to the sunrise,” (Jerry Sittser in A Grace Disguised).

When we courageously face and move with God through the pain and darkness of the past and in his presence honestly name the harm, may we experience his love, his comfort, and healing in his wings. And may we glimpse the hope of sunrise!

Set aside time today to be still, open, and honest with God, considering what has been ignored, minimized, or perhaps locked away for far too long. Take time in God’s Presence to name what happened to you, and how it has affected you to this day.

As you ponder all this with God today, ask Him:

Father, what were some of the wounding moments in my life? Where did I feel vulnerable and unprotected as a little girl?

Jesus, how have my wounds named me? Where do I feel shame in my story?

Holy Spirit, what are the vows and agreements I made in the wounding moments?