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Not Enough Sex

An analysis of the results of 211 studies on sex drive found that men, on average, have a substantially stronger sex drive than women. Men more often think and fantasize about sex, more often experience sexual feelings, and more often engage in masturbation compared to women.

I’m sure this is a surprise to most of you (insert laughter here).

We were created by God to have sexual desires. The Bible, however, makes it very clear where that sexual desire is to be satisfied.

Each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband (1 Corinthians 7:2). Sex was made to be experienced between a man and a woman in a marriage relationship. Anything outside that is contrary to the will of God.

When you put this all together, it is quite possible that, in general, the amount of sex that a godly man experiences is significantly less compared to what he desires.

So, what do we do with this?

Sex is a strong desire in our lives, and there is ample opportunity for it outside the plan and will of God. There is so much temptation in our world, and sex is so often regarded as the greatest thing we can experience; it is no wonder that we are longing with dissatisfaction in this area.

Likely, this drive will be in us until the day we die, so there is no quick antidote to it. However, I believe we can experience more and more contentment if we do one thing:

Sacrifice the unhealthy side of our desires.

Sacrifice means going without. It means dying to self. It may mean turning off the TV, your phone, or anything that tempts you. It may mean avoiding situations where temptation is high. It may mean greater accountability or a place of regular confession with another man you trust.

All of these things cost something, but sacrifice always does.

Jesus knows all about this. In fact, we are to love our spouses the way Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). When we surrender our sexual desires to the Lord and offer the unhealthy desires as a sacrifice, we are honouring Christ, and He will, in turn, honour us with contentment (Galatians 5:16).

He will give us grace in our times of need (Hebrews 4:15).

Prayer: Dear Lord, You see how I am made. I have sexual desires. Some of them are natural, and some are stirred up because of my flesh or the sexually charged world I live in. Help me to turn away from things that unnecessarily ramp up my sexual drive. Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from the evil one. Keep me free from the trap that is set for me. I want to be holy. My body is not my own; it is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I was bought at a price; therefore, help me honour You with my body. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Reflection: When do you find it most difficult to remain pure sexually? Are there avenues where your sex drive is being unnecessarily triggered (movies, books, social media platforms, magazines, etc.)? Are you willing to sacrifice such things?