SEX

HEART

Movies, television, and social media portray sexuality as something you should explore whenever you want, with whoever you want, as long as it feels right for you. They feed us "love" in highlight reels, showing the glossy surface of romance while rarely showing the ugly stuff underneath. In real life, romantic and sexual relationships are extremely complicated. Now, throw an unplanned pregnancy in the mix, and what seemed like a simple act of pleasure isn’t so simple anymore.

Sex is one of the greatest gifts that God has given us on earth. It can bring immense pleasure, but it can also cause immense chaos and pain in our lives. It forges physical and spiritual bonds between partners that are not easily broken. Your sexual choices affect your whole life, body and soul. Dutch theologian Henri Nouwen said, “Our sexuality reveals to us our enormous yearning for communion. The desires of our body…belong to the deepest longings of the heart and are very concrete signs of our search for oneness.” Sex was designed by the Creator, to bring a man and a woman mutual pleasure, build lifelong trust and intimacy between them, and provide a path to grow a loving family together.

God’s design for sex includes lifelong rewards, like relational trust, emotional fulfillment, sex without guilt or fear of disease, and the hope of a healthy and growing family. Sex outside of God’s design has natural consequences. It creates emotional baggage, fear of disease, a sense of emptiness, and a broken family structure, just to name a few.

I didn’t include unexpected pregnancy as a consequence, because every child is a gift from God, and the joy of fatherhood is one of life's greatest rewards. Although, having a child outside of marriage and God’s design causes a lot of daunting issues and distress. If you’re working through that stress today, today’s verses will remind you that God’s mercy is available to you. God is patient with you. He can be trusted with this area of your life, too, so don’t hold it back from him.

A good friend of mine told me something that I believe to be true. He said, “Heal the man, heal the family.” Take those words to heart, accept how vital your role is as a father, and why it’s so important for your mind, heart and soul and your sex life to be healthy.

WORK

Your sexual habits and history tell a story of how you view yourself and others. If you see sex simply as a means for your own pleasure, regardless of how your choices affect others, you may need to ask yourself some hard questions. Many times, casual attitudes about sex are directly related to casual attitudes about pornography. Pornography can distort a man’s view of a woman, objectifying her, and using her as a means for self-pleasure.

Do you believe that all people are valuable, and created in the image of God? When it comes to sex, do you see women as objects for your own pleasure, or as valuable individuals who are worthy of your respect?

Let’s look at some statistics regarding porn and relationships.*

Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300%

68% of divorce cases involve someone meeting a new partner over the Internet

56% of divorce cases involve one party having an “obsessive interest” in pornographic websites

40% of people who identify as sex addicts lose their spouses

58% of people who identify as sex addicts suffer considerable financial loss

33% of people who identify as sex addicts lose their jobs.

If you have struggled with pornography or obsessive sexual behavior, ask yourself if your sexual habits are getting in the way of your relationship with God or others.

Look at the reality of where you are now, how you got here, and how you can create a better future for yourself and your family. As part of that process, consider your beliefs about sex, and how they’ve impacted your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

*Study by National Coalition for the Protection of Children & Families, 2010