Disagree Agreeably

We often find loving people who don’t agree with us more difficult than loving those who do. When everyone thinks as we think, loving them oftentimes is much easier. But respecting everyone’s right to have their own opinion is an important key to loving people. See, when we try to convince people to change their mind and agree with us, and if we continue doing it long enough, it usually ends in anger. People want freedom; they don’t want to be controlled and manipulated.

The way we treat people with whom we disagree is important. Life is simply too short to argue and be angry and unforgiving. We don’t all agree, but we can learn to disagree agreeably.

Dave and I have certainly had to learn how to disagree agreeably to stay married for 55 years. We are two very different people, and there are things that are important to me that just aren’t important to him. Likewise, some things that are important to him are not important to me.

In the earlier years of our marriage, I simply couldn’t understand how Dave could think the way he thought when his perspective or opinions did not agree with mine. But I have since learned that we all see things from different perspectives. If we want to have peace in our relationships, respecting each other’s right to their own opinion is very important. When we respect that right, we don’t argue with them about what they think, or make comments that make them feel that something is wrong with them because they feel the way they do. We may have discussions over topics or situations about which we don’t agree, but a discussion is not the same as an argument.

Peace Is More Valuable than Being Right

To me, having peace is worth withholding my opinion and not needing to have the last word in a disagreement. It’s worth saying, “I may be wrong,” or even “I am wrong.” And it’s worth saying, “I am sorry,” or “Please forgive me.”

I remember how totally miserable I was the last time Dave and I had an argument over a difference of opinion. I was so upset that it actually made me feel bad physically for two days. Even after we both said, “I love you,” it still took time for my emotions to calm down. I can tell you that what we argued about wasn’t worth the price I paid emotionally and physically to defend my opinion. Love gives up its right to be right, but I forgot that momentarily—just long enough to get into trouble and say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Let’s imagine for a moment what our world would be like if everyone would do what I have written about here and that, when they fail, they would quickly apologize and get back into peace as soon as possible.

It’s a lofty goal, but as I have said before, if each one of us will do our part, it is possible because all things are possible with God (see Matthew 19:26). So, work for peace and unity in all of your relationships and love everyone. Even when you might not agree, love them anyway, just as Jesus does.

Adapted from the book Loving People Who Are Hard to Love by Joyce Meyer. Copyright 2022 by Joyce Meyer. Published by Hachette Book Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

Prayer Starter:

“Lord, help me to be a source of peace to those around me. I want to be able to show love to others—even if we don’t always see eye to eye—and learn to ‘disagree agreeably.’ Help me to remember that being kind and loving is more important than getting the last word or having to be ‘right.’ I can only do it with Your strength. In Jesus’ name, amen.”