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“Peace”

During the anti-Vietnam War movement in the late sixties, John Lennon sang, “Give peace a chance.” We hippies turned that phrase into a national anthem of sorts and launched the Peace Movement. Who doesn’t want peace—especially in their home?

I’ve been teaching a Sunday School class at church on and off for about forty years. I’ve tried to convey the quintessential truth that every one of us is made in the image of God. You say, “Phil, everyone knows that.” Not so fast. There is a prevailing school of thought out there that says we’re nothing more than glorified pond scum. I’d say there’s a world of difference between the tomfoolery of thinking that an amoeba is your great-granddaddy and the fact that God made you in His image. The Bible says it plain as day in Genesis 1:27—“ God created man in His own image.”

Now, since God in His very essence is love (1 John 4:8), we, as His image-bearers, should demonstrate love to one another. When we do, peace reigns in our homes. When we don’t, we face a heap of trouble—guaranteed. Peace goes out the window as our families go to war with each other. I’m not saying we literally reach for our guns and shoot it out like they did in the Wild West. But we blast away at each other with wounding words, which can sting just as bad as bullets and take longer to heal.

Two of the fastest ways to disturb the peace within a family are to misuse the words always and never. Just think about how we often use those words at home. We say crazy things like “You never listen to me,” “You always say that,” “You never take the garbage out,” “You’re always late,” “I can never trust you to be on time,” “You always disregard what I say.” You get the picture. Couples I’ve counseled use a lot of those always and never statements, most of the time in a negative context. When they do, I bust ’em. I say, “Really? Never?” or “Are you sure it’s always?”

“Well,” they say, backpedaling, “I mean sometimes. But you know what I mean. It feels like never and always.” What these folks don’t seem to grasp is that always and never are powerful words. They trigger a defensive response in the mind of the listener. No wonder tempers flare and peace flies the coop.

Just as these two words are often used in a negative way, they can be used in a positive way that will bring peace to your family. In 1 Corinthians 13—what many people call the “love chapter” of the Bible—Paul writes, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:6–8 NIV, emphasis added). I’d say the proper use of always and never is a good place to start if you want to start a peace movement in your home.

By Phil Robertson