How Thoughts Affect Relationships

Learning How to Be a Person That Others Want to Be Around

Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify

(strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (AMPC)

Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts, words, and attitudes have a tremendous impact on your relationships. A positive attitude will attract friends and make you so much more enjoyable to be around. Likewise, someone with a negative attitude is fighting an uphill battle if they hope to make and maintain quality relationships.

I don’t think negative people even realize how their attitude affects their relationships. I sure didn’t. But the truth is anyone who is happy and positive quickly discovers that being with a negative person doesn’t bring them joy.

So, I ask you: Are you a good friend? Are you the kind of person other people want to be around? I’ve reached a place where I really want to be a good friend. If someone runs into me at the coffee shop, I want them to be glad to see me and take a few minutes to talk. I want my attitude to add to their joy!

Most of us are familiar with the law of sowing and reaping. The Bible clearly tells us that we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7). If you want more friends, then sow a seed and choose to be a good friend to someone else.

I once heard something that really got my attention. Someone said that even if people don’t remember what you say to them, they do remember how you made them feel. For example, I once had an exercise coach who is extremely positive. He encouraged me throughout the routine, so I always looked forward to seeing him. His attitude made the entire experience!

However, on the other hand, a few years ago I was going to a trainer who wasn’t very encouraging. He often came across as negative and condescending. I know he thought he was helping me, but he was really discouraging me!

Really, it’s pretty simple: If you want friends, be a good friend. Be the kind of person that other people want to be around. Be positive, encouraging, and uplifting. Encouraging people has not always come easy to me, but years ago I made a commitment to God to start doing it on purpose. Every day I ask the Holy Spirit to show me who I can encourage.

Encouragement is powerful. It can actually make a person feel better. I remember one time when I got a text message from my youngest son. All it said was, “I love you, Mommy!” At that moment, I literally felt refreshed by his words. They gave me the extra dose of courage I needed that day.

First Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to encourage one another and build each other up. Proverbs 18:21 says, Death and life are in the power of the tongue....Your words are powerful, and a word of encouragement at the right time can literally transform someone’s entire day.

Maybe you are where I was years ago. If you realize you are negative, the greatest thing you can do is ask the Lord to begin changing you. Begin renewing your mind with God’s Word and allow Him to help you become positive in your thoughts, your words, and your attitude.

As you do, you will become a person others want to hang around. You will become someone they want to call “friend.”

Prayer: “Dear God, help me to be a good friend. I want to be the kind of person that people feel safe with and want to spend time talking to. Please show me how to encourage those around me so that they feel uplifted when I’m around. Help me to love them in all the ways You would want me to. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Walk It Out: What are some things that attract you to a new friend? Is it their mannerisms? General friendly attitude? If they’re talkative? Whatever it is that you find yourself drawn to, try today to be that for someone. If you love people who are encouraging, try to spread some positivity today! Or if you find yourself attracted to outgoing people, approach someone new today and strike up a conversation. You never know who you might meet!