Yes and No

"You do that, and you’re grounded for life!"

"I’m counting to 3, and then you better come here."

"And this time, I really mean it!"

What are we saying to our kids? What kinds of mixed messages are we sending, especially about obedience and truthfulness, when we don’t really mean to? How many times do we tell our kids, “No, you can’t do that,” only to roll our eyes and let it go when they smirk and do it anyway? How often do we say “no” only to cave when they keep hounding us?

Frequently, we give ultimatums in haste and then change our minds. We allow our kids to push because it seems easier at the moment. In reality, we’re prolonging the agony of teaching them that our words hold meaning. When we let them continue to do something after we have said stop, we are training them that there are no absolutes or truths to hold on to. While it’s okay to be flexible or show mercy under reasonable circumstances, we must be clear when we say yes, no, or maybe.

Making empty threats to children you can’t or won’t carry out is not speaking the truth to them, and the effects won’t last. They will quickly learn not to take you seriously, and the communication will be muddied for when it is detrimental for them to understand. It undermines their understanding of a God who always keeps his Word. Empty statements communicate all the wrong messages. Making sure we speak the truth demonstrates love for them.

Truth will last forever; lies are soon found out.

Proverbs 12:19 (CEV)

If you have been in the habit of not minding your words, sit your kids down for a talk. Explain to them you’ve been wrong and ask for their forgiveness. Then give them plenty of warning that you will be careful in what you say and follow through with what you say the first time.

It takes practice to carefully consider our words before flippantly reacting. But the reward of having children listen closely and believe you is worth it.

PRAY

Lord, give me the wisdom to consider decisions and then communicate with integrity. May my words not be a tripwire for these kids. Amen.

TIME TO TALK

Conversation starter for kids: Provides you with questions and prompts to facilitate a time of applicable discussion with children to lead them towards knowing God and His Word more deeply.

Question(s): Is it confusing when someone says one thing and does another? Why is it important for us to mean what we say?

Apply: Play a game of saying everything opposite at dinner: “Please don’t pass the butter. I’m so excited about doing my least favorite chore! I don’t want my favorite dessert.” Talk about how it feels when people are not saying the truth.

KEEP IT GOING

Related passages: These additional verses will help parents expand Scriptural knowledge and place on the armor of God’s Word to tackle each day. Swipe to read the passages today.

Proverbs 12:13

1 Corinthians 13:6