What mistakes can I own?

One of the things that break my heart the most is the number of people I know who are no longer on speaking terms with family, friends, and colleagues over one of many hot topics. It could have been a conversation about race, politics, or health & safety protocols. And what often happens in heated conversations is we all feel like we have to be right. In the process of needing to be right, we often say things we regret. Hindsight is 20/20. And looking back on some of those conversations that went south, I think what could have saved the conversation and, potentially, the relationship is a little bit of intellectual humility.

Intellectual humility is the importance of knowing there’s a chance, big or small, that you could have made an error. It's the ability to admit that we could be wrong. If we want our relationships to go to the next level, we have to enter conversations leaving room for somebody else's perspective.

Humility is the antithesis of pride or arrogance. And in many references to this virtue within Scripture, it’s both a state of being and an active pursuit. It takes practice to admit fault, resist pride, and do so habitually.

Jesus exhibited a posture of humility for us -

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Philippians 2:5-8 (emphasis mine)

His humility was undeniable, yet this approach to leadership was precisely why the Jewish leaders denied His lordship! They were looking for someone of stature who carried themselves with a sort of arrogance - like them - that aligned with their view of positional power and prestige.

Humility has its perks. First, it models the way of Jesus, leading us to a peaceful life. Second, our willingness to admit that we might not know expands our curiosity, opens us up to new ideas, builds trust in relationships, and gives way to deeper learning.

Pride and arrogance, however, cause us to have a false view of ourselves. Protecting our pride means we limit ourselves to new ideas, trusting others, being trustworthy, and reducing our transparency.

Humility is full of nuance and depth; it’s being submissive, servant-hearted, modest, others-focused, and unassuming. For us, having humility enables us to admit we’re wrong. Jesus was never wrong but had humility. For some of us, rebuilding a bridge with a loved one could start with admitting where we missed the mark.

What’s so bad about being wrong? Why do we have an obsession with being right? How many times in your life have you met someone looking for a mate that said, “The kind of person I want to be with is someone who’s always right”? You haven’t. For the sake of the relationships we have in our homes, and in our careers, I believe we have to pause and wonder what it is we win for being right.

Be slow to take credit and quick to apologize.

Prayer

God, thank You for showing me how to be humble through Jesus. He chose to carry Himself with humility even though He didn’t have to. Help me to admit my mistakes. Teach me how to live humbly, and transform the way I view my mistakes, blind spots, and weaknesses.

Thank You for Your Word. Let the passages I read today penetrate my heart, expand my mind, and impact the way I reflect You today. Amen.